[Solved] what can i do

Hi Shrek

welcome to the site,

I don't have much experience of this I'm afraid, Sounds really tough though especially as there was no warning.

What have social services said?

I'm going to ask one of our experts to drop by and see if they can advise so keep checking back here.

Darren

socia services will tell me nothing

That's not great, keep looking back as the experts or some one else on here may be able to offer some advice

thans

Hi shrek,

I have a few questions:

1) How old are your children
2) Have you actually separated from your wife

As you have said Police and Social Services have said they cannot disclose the location. How have they both come to be involved? Have there been domestic issues?

What is the nature of your wifes "mental illness"?

There are more questions that ideally should be asked but these are my starter questions.

Hi Shrek,

I will ask our friends at the Family Rights Group to pop by and see if they are able to offer you any advice.

Keep checking back to see what they have to say.

Gooner

my children are 3 years and 6 mths
i think i have all i know is things were fine the night before and i left for work in the morning when i came home the house was empty so i tried to get hold of her and nothing shes never out after dark as we live in a very rural area so i phoned the police who later came round and told me that her and the kids were fine but had left me and she asked them not to tell me where she is i can only asume social services are involved they wont tell me either way there has been social services involvement after the birth of my eldest when she hit me infront of a health visitor and her problems are un diagnosed as i couldnt get anyone to help when we were together but they start from her own upsetting child hood she is prone to sudden violent and abusive outbursts with no warning and for no real reason one minute were cuddling the next shes shouting and hitting me she also screams at both children when they want her to get something or are just playing near her and of course il answer more questions or elaborate if it will help

The family rights group expert will give you a full answer, but in my opinion, from what you have just said, I'd be contacting the social services and telling them what you've said on here and saying that you have fears for the Children's safety

some good news my partner contacted me tonight and wants too come home she will get help however now we have to battle social services

Hey Shrek, sounds like good news for now, but also like you need to get somethings sorted out. - can the new experts from the family rights group help us guys? wehn are they on the forum?

thats right there is some things to sort out first order of buisness make the inlaws outlaws

sorry to hear whot you are going though i have been through something of the same and i found there is a thing called( family group confrence service) this is run by your council thay helped me lots.

Hello,

I am an adviser at Family Rights Group. We advise parents and other family members who are in contact with children’s services (previously known as social services).

I’m really sorry to hear what’s been going on for you and your family.

In terms of applying to the courts regarding contact etc with the children, you should be able to make an application regarding the children without your ex-partner’s address.

At the time of making the application, you would also need to make a separate application either:
• for the address to be disclosed to the court by a relevant agency or
• for an agency to serve the court application on your wife without telling you her address. (Usually the department of work and pensions, DWP, or the local authority).
If she did not turn up for the first hearing at court then the court would know that she had been sent the application and could decide whether to send again or make and court order.

We are not the best agency to advise in detail about this, however, as it relates to “private law”. Our area of expertise is “public law” – that is, where children’s services are involved. I am aware that the children’s legal centre offer advice on the dad’s talk board and, hopefully, they will be able to come along and give you a fuller answer on this.

You mention that children’s services know where your ex-partner and children are. I wonder if this is because they have some ongoing involvement with your family? Are the children assessed as “children in need”, for example or are they subject to a “child protection plan”?
Your situation will be affected by whether or not you have “parental responsibility” (PR) for your children. You have PR if you are or were married to the children’s mother or if you are on their birth certificate if the registration took place after 1st December 2003.
If children’s services are working with your children, however, they have an obligation to keep you informed about this work, regardless of whether or not you have parental responsibility.

If this is the case, you may wish to ask for a meeting with your children’s social worker or the team manager. Point out that you have always played a full part in the children’s lives and that you wish to remain fully involved and informed by children’s services. You may also choose to use this meeting to raise your current concerns about the children.

As I’ve said, we are not the best organisation to advise you about the private law aspects of your situation, (the contact application).
If you would like any further information or advice about the role of children’s services in your family, however, please do post back with any specific questions or feel free to contact our free advice line on 0808 8010366.

Best Wishes,
Adviser
Family Rights Group

I want to add to my earlier post the following:

Respect are an organisation for men who deal with the issue of domestic abuse.
There are 2 help lines one of them is for male victims of domestic abuse, (the other is for perpetrators). It might be worth speaking to them or looking at their website.
They can advise about resources that may be available and that may be of help if children’s services are unhappy about you re uniting with the mother of your children.
Respect

Another poster mentioned family group conferences. Here is a link to Family Rights Group advice sheet which explains what a Family group conference is.
Family Group Conferences
Please post back if you have further questions.

Kind regards,

Adviser,
Family Rights Group