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i have a 6 month old baby son.
But my ex partner and i have been apart for the last 5.
I'll start from way before he was born.
She has another daughter who is now 3, & when i met her she lived in a flat. to be honest this flat was an absolute disgrace. it was littered with rubbish, dirty nappies, the whole lazy package. her daughter was living in a dump.
many occasions i had gone after work and she had never any food in the fridge or cupboards. that little girl was still on bottles for meals or if she was lucky she would have pasta with just salad cream.
anyhow i sort of fixed them many problems & we had a happy little girl again.
any how we were silly enough to conceive our son, & i moved her & her daughter into my house. & it was still the lazy package where i would work, cook clean, bath the kids, & she would sit on facebook or the internet all day everyday.
we broke up a month after our son was born & her mother dragged her to live with her.
She uses our son as a weapon at every available oppurtunity, sayin i cant see him. She always gives in as she cant cope with her kids anyway.
many times i have got my son and he is absolutly stinking, hasnt been bathed for what i would say days, although he is 6 months he should be eating solids & when i first give him a jar of food or blended veg etc etc, he doesnt even know how to open his mouth for the spoon. it really doesnt seem that shes feeding him solids. i pay her a fortune in maintainence & she isnt buying clothes for him either, he comes up in really skin tight clothes. a size too small maybe more. yet she buys herself everything off ebay. its not on.
she has now got herself another flat, & i just know how my son is going to live.
& yesterday she said i couldnt see him again. & as always she gave in this morning.
Is there anything i can do to get full costody of him. as far as i am concerned she is an unfit mother, she shouldnt be allowed any of her kids.
I have researched and found out that mediation might help or would i just go straight to the courts.
thankyou very much for any replys on this matter.
Hi Jam86,
I moved your thread to this board because it's the best place for it.
Do you have Parental Responsibility (pr) ?
I have researched and found out that mediation might help
Mediation is a great way to try to come to an agreement and I would suggest you consider it before you think about court. We recommend National Family Mediation . Why not check out their website. It's well worth considering as it would cost you less in the long run than court.
Gooner
If you have concerns about your son's welfare - have you considered involving social services?
thankyou, i will defiantly look into that.
yes i have parental responsibility. although im still unsure exactly what rights i do have.
thanks again.
Here's a basic description of PR from the Coram Children's Legal Centre:
What does Parental Responsibility mean in practical terms?
When a decision has to be taken about a child, all those with Parental Responsibility for the child are allowed to have a say in that decision. The decision will have to be about the upbringing of the child. Day to day decisions should be taken by the resident
parent or the person with whom the child lives without interference from other Parental Responsibility holders. In practical terms Parental Responsibility means the power to make important decisions in relation to a child - for example, decisions about where a child is to live, whether a child should receive medical treatment, what religion the child should follow and which school they should attend.
Is this any help ?
Gooner
thanks gooner, it certainly helps.
Would i be in the wrong to just not take him back? Maybe a daft question but its gone through my mind!
You're obviously concerned about your son - but I am not sure that, that is the best solution.
I agree with GP's advice, though I think it's an understatement. If you take him, you are going to find yourself in a world of trouble with the police, and spoil any chance you have of gaining residence, and probably unsupervised contact. I would say, from the conditions you describe, you need evidence, photos would be good, and the cooperation of the authorities. I would consider having a word with Children's services describing the conditions they are living in and that you have serious concerns for their welfare and health.
thanks gooner, it certainly helps.
Would i be in the wrong to just not take him back? Maybe a daft question but its gone through my mind!
Hi,
with regard to this, as I understand it, if there is not a residency/contact order in place or court order implying that the mother has custody then you are not breaking any laws by refusing to return your child and making her go to the courts to apply for contact and/or residency. I am not trying to tell you what to do though. I am sure there are others more experienced and/or qualified that can comment on this.
I know I did this when I found out my ex partner was planning to fly out to another country but I backed it up with an emergency court order for shared contact. I know my ex phoned the police but because there was no court order being breached they were not really interested. I don't see the harm in seeing a solicitor on one of the free advice sessions they do or speaking to the CAB.
I wish you all the best, sounds like your child would be better with you than the mother for sure IMHO.
Fingers crossed and keep us updated,
Macflugal
Hi there,
You could phone the police and explain that you have parental responsibility and what your concerns are, and ask them if you would be breaking the law or get into trouble if you kept him instead of giving him back to his mum. 🙂
If they gave you the green light you would need to apply for Residency immediately.
I would wait, contact social services, they might have concerns already.
Social services have pushed my circumstances in the right direction, but wait, it can take some time.
I've had my son live with me for 8 months now.
I'm actually in the court process now for the residency order & my suspicions were correct from day one.
He's 2 tomorrow & his mum seriously hurt him at 10 months old.
I knew something was going to happen when i added this post, but hey what can you do to prove it.
I would like to say i absolutely appreciate everything people had said on this post.
Thank you very much
Thank goodness he's safe now! What a terrible situation, what did you decide to do in the end, did you just refuse to take him back...did you call the police and are you getting support from Social Services? Sorry for all the questions, we regularly have members in the same situation and hearing the details and how you managed the situation is invaluable to others. may i ask what has happened to the little girl?
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