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Six weeks ago my wife told me her feelings have changed have gone, after a pretty lousy Christmas, we've finally sat down to make decisions.
Living arrangements are proving to be our biggest sticking point.
Before Christmas my wife moved out to live at her mums of an evening/overnight, leaving me in the marital home with our three children(ages 5, 4 & 18mths) though she does care for them in the daytime.
Her plan is to say that I should leave the marital home and move into our buy to let property.
Due to me being made bankrupt both properties and mortgages are in her name (with a 33% share in the buy to let in her mothers name)
I've been to Citizens Advice and the only real advice they gave was not to leave the marital home.
I've sought legal advice and their advice was pretty much the same not to leave the family home.
What rights do I have to the marital home?
The children are paramount in both of our thoughts and we have to do right by them but how do I proceed without things getting too nasty?
Hi There,
I feel the advice you have been given from CAB and the legal advice would be correct for the legal side of things to protect your assets, though that said it may not be the right thing to do for the children, you are in a difficult possition at the moment as if you stay things will probably get worse between the 2 of you and that will effect the children, I guess the only thing you can do is talk through every aspect of the move and get everything written into a legal agreement so you don't risk loosing out.
Darren
Hi
I'm not sure what the posistion is in the rest of the UK but certainly in Scotland you are entitled to half the value of the matrimonial home as determined at the time of your divorce (not separation), and half of all assets accrued during the marriage.
The most important isssue is the welfare of your children.
Do not leave the matrimonial home. I know this sounds a bit melodramatic but it's true.If you do you may never see your children again. It is your and your children's home. Play it cool and keep things as amicable as possible. I would say that your best bet is to keep things going as they are for as long as you can to establish a pattern of care.
Never miss an opportunity to pay your ex a compliment.
I disagree with Darren in so far that legal agreements are probably not worth the paper they are written on as regards your rights, and those of your children with regard to your care of them. You are far better off trying to keep things out of the claws of solicitors.
Best of luck
DO NOT LEAVE THE HOME!! if you do it will be a very big mistake and you may lose a lot of if not all contact with your kids!
however.....you now need to be very very careful around your ex.......any argument she could call the police and claim you're being violent, threatening, scaring her or even assault!
i've had that one...and it takes a long time to get that lie shown for the lie it was!!
when my ex did that after i called her a "stupid cow" in an argument i then had the police on me cos she wanted me to leave the house and i was refusing to!
thats when i really started to realise the depths she would go to...because i dared to disagree with her over things.
you need to make notes of every event...every argument, confrontation, threats etc... make a diary as soon after the event as you can....times dates and the jist of the event.
keep all text messages if youre ex sends you threats or abusive ones....but keep a copy of all!! you may need them to show the emotional abuse and suffering you've been having to deal with!
if the worst comes and you were questioned by the police for an allegation she's made use these notes and any messages of abusive nature to show her for what she is.....do not be a doormat but do not rise to her arguments. its your home and your kids home too......
And please try not to enter into arguments in front of the kids
chin up and good luck mate
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