[Solved] What is the point in court in the first place?

I think it's the only way to make progress even if it feels like it takes forever. I have read up on storys before where the ex partner keeps going against what the judge says and eventually looses custody of the kids. Extreme situation but happens. Think alot of the time the ex likes to drag things out for ages to bleed you dry whilst they don't pay a thing.

The ex just wants you to give up I would imagine so I wouldn't satisfy them by doing it.

Not sure on any of your circumstances but hope it all works out for you

I agree and understand what you say as ultimately who can force someone to do something they do not want to do.

Having orders forced is a step and ultimately they have consequences if they are disobeyed.

Kama comes around as does the truth in the end (well at least I hope)

Choices that a Dad faces when he separates from his ex and doesn’t get to see his kids because his ex decides she wants to hurt him for leaving her:

1. Do nothing just walk away and potentially never see your kids again.

2. Fight to see your kids by whatever means you legally can. - Mediation, then Contact orders via the courts.

What then if the ex still refuses to adhere to court orders?

• Apply for Enforcement order to Enforce the contact order (£200)

What then if the ex still refuses to adhere to Enforced order?

• Apply to the courts to enforce the penalties on the court enforced order (£90)

What should happens next is where I’m at right now…..the penalties should be enforced on the ex but you have to prove they’ve breached/broken the court order!

So what is the point of court first? My honest answer is…..a last resort…a last chance to stay a father to your kids!

All I know is that my ex wouldn’t be reasonable with contact and extending contact for me and my little boy….i saw I had only the two choices above….walk away or stand and fight.

I stood up and fought….i’ve been fighting since I left in 2009….through courts since late 2010…its cost me a small fortune in legal fees until 2011 when I simply went over the £8k limit I’d set myself….been self-representing since then .

The more I see how my ex was in her past and how she is as a person, the more I am determined not to let her ruin my sons life and let him become like her.
I want my little boy to grow up with a balanced view of the world and not just the distorted view of his mother’s world.
I want him to grow up knowing how much I love him, how much he means to me and how much I have fought so hard and given almost everything I have to stay in his life.

She has quickly replaced me with a new fella and a new baby being forced in to my son’s life…I simply don’t fit with her “show family life”... all I am fighting for is to not lose my son or my position of his father and someone to depend on or look up to in his life.

Call me stubborn….glutton for punishment…thick in the head…call me whatever you like…….it may seem crazy the lengths I’ve gone to so far….the things that keep me fighting are knowing the truth and that my son is happy when he spends time with me and I can make him smile with the simplest of things…..that one smile when I do get to see him takes away all the hurt and pain she has caused me over the years.

Dad-i-d... I've been involved with the courts since early 06. ive not seen my lad since near the end of 06. My vindictive ex partner since then has used every excuse to prevent contact from taking place and not complied with court orders. I've fought tooth and nail but to no avail. its got to a point where the courts have turned around and said they can't force contact and will have a detrimental effect on the child if proceedings carry on. That is why i asked the question what is the point in court in the first place!

@Jasey78,

That certainly is very disheartening to hear….

You’ve had an enforcement contact order correct? Were there penalties attached should she break that, if so what were they if I may ask without jeopardising your fight?

I’m looking for your opinion here…….Enforcement orders have been broken by your ex then why have the courts not followed through with penalties they say they can apply?

Reason being I got the enforced order at the beginning of the year and my ex has broken it every week since beginning of May and I’ve had enough of it so I’ve just applied to have the penalties enforced – i.e. committal to prison and or change of residency - minimum for the duration if they send her to prison but with hope for a full change of residency.

If I may ask and if you can share, what were the reasons the courts wouldn’t enforce the penalties in your case against your ex?

Sorry chaps a misunderstanding... I have never had any enforcement orders in place just a basic contact order not complied with by my ex. on refection maybe enforcement orders would have been useful? but I had inept representation. and it was never mentioned to me. and because of it being my first time in the system I was very shy to family court knowledge. kennymac despite the courts saying it will a detrimental effect on the child I am carrying on with the battle. I did though have a knock back in march by having my c100 withdrawn by cafcass and judge request. but was told to submit a fresh application in jan next year after ive sent indirect contact

Ah that clears things up a little then.

Deffo keep going with the indirect but why you have to wait to drag her in front of a judge for contact is staggering....even if it was at a contact centre its got to be better than nothing for the child (IMO).

Self representation was very daunting for me too, but with the help of every one here and a wealth of knowledge out here on the internet i'm sure you'll find a way to fight and regain contact.

as d-i-d says, the point of fighting is because the alternative is to walk away. Even if you don't succeed now, in years to come, when your ex doesn't have the influence, you can look your child in the eye and say you fought to the last to have contact, so if it's later on in life, that is going to mean a lot, even to a grown up child.

You have had good advice Jasey and one of the things I have always told clients if they have lost, is that you can show the child your papers, and prove you fought for contact. Whatever happens now, I can guarantee that a child will always look for the missing parent, its human nature.

As for contact, I don't understand why you were asked to withdraw your C100 however, if you have no court proceedings now. then start again. If you have an Order and your ex is just not complying with it, then go for Enforcement of the Order. Enforcement will take place, and if she still does not obey it, you will have to apply again and even again, but the final resort to the Court is imprisonment. The Courts don't like to imprison mothers, and it is a very last resort, but it has happened.

Keep on fighting.

Oh and depending on your income or not, you may be exempt from court fees.