[Solved] What's my rights and not

hi

I would say that unless there are serious welfare concerns for your daughter, your chances of getting residence are not particularly good - I would have thought that it would be more likely that childrens services would be involved if necessary to provide support in the home. The problem you face is that a court is likely to acknolwedge that a newborn is totally dependant on her mother, and by the time she isn't, she is going to be settled in the maternal home.

Hi Kroneh,

On the face of the information that you have provided, I doubt that you have any realistic chance of obtaining a residence order for your child. The child would have to be at physical or emotional risk by staying with the mother, but the environment you describe sounds like that of a typical low income family. The mother may not share your level of aspiration, but having more money and living in a better area doesn't necessarily make someone a better parent.

To have Parental Responsibility for your child, your name will need to appear on the birth certificate.

Parental Responsibility is defined in s.3(1) Children Act 1989 as being: "all the rights, duties, powers, responsibilities and authority which by law a parent of a child has in relation to the child and his property". In practical terms having parental responsibility means sharing the rights and responsibilities to make important day to day decisions about the child, for example where the child is to live, which school they should attend, which religion they should follow and whether or not they should receive medical treatment.

If the mother doesn't put you on the birth certificate, it's not the end of the world and you have several options.

Firstly you can acquire Parental Responsibility by re-registering the birth of your child with your name on the birth certificate. This is subject to the mothers consent.

Secondly you can apply for a Parental Responsibility Agreement, this is an agreement made between a mother and an unmarried father to allow the father to have joint parental responsibility, both parents will need to consent to this. A parental responsibility agreement can be applied for through a PRA1 form. This form can be obtained through a Local Family Proceedings court or the www.justice.gov.uk website. There is also a fee which will need to be attached and sent with the form. Once you have completed the form you will need to hand the form and fee to your local Family Proceedings Court.

If however the mother does not consent to either of the above you can apply for a Parental Responsibility Order. A Parental Responsibility Order can be applied for through the following process; an application can be made by filling out a C1 form. This form can be obtained through a Local Family Proceedings Court or through the www.justice.gov.uk website. There is also a £200 fee which is applicable. Once you have completed the form you will need to hand the form and fee to your local Family Proceedings Court. In regards to the fee if you feel you are entitled to a fee exemption or reduction you can complete a EX160A form to check your eligibility.

You're in something of a pickle. You clearly don't want to be with the mother, which is unfortunate but not a crime. However the approach you're taking is going to leave you in a precarious position. I can't imagine the mother is going to take too kindly to being dumped, so you may find yourself being prevented or restricted from contact. Once your child is born, he/she will live with the mother and she will be able to control the level of contact you have.

You may actually need to apply for a contact order, but for the first 12-18 months a court would only recommend that you see your child for a few hours a couple of times a week. I can't see you getting overnight contact until the child is 18-24 months old.

Feel free to speak with a solicitor for a second opinion, but I think you'll find that they'll only echo what I've described above.

FM '70

Honestly my best advice would be no matter how hard it is stick with your ex and live a lie until your daughter is old enough to make up her own mind, my situation was similar in that my ex was in constant debt and did not want to leave her family home so eventualy we split up!

The worst thing I ever did as now my daughter is used as somwhat of a weapon against me so my best advice is stick with your partner gain her trust, get your name on the birth certificate and ride the storm, believe me the pain of not seeing your child 24/7 is a billion billion times worse that staying with a partner like the one you describe plus you will se your daughter everyday and be able to have input in her life.

I cant offer legal advice as im not skilled in anyway but only advice off how hard it is not being with your child 24/7

Thank you all for the prompt advises. Kt doesn't look too healthy for me does it? Unless the mother is caught neglecting the child / abusing the child, the chances of me getting overnight contact(if we happen to seperate) is very very low. At what age can a child choose who he/she wants to live with

Hi Kroneh,

That's a pretty astute assessment of the situation.

A child can't legally make an independent decision about where they live until they're 16. It is accepted that a court will consider a child's feelings in matters of residency from around 11 years of age, but there are still no guarantees.

If you don't want to be with the mother, that's absolutely fine (although she may not agree) and I think you'd be miserable trying to live a lie. I tried it and was the unhappiest I've ever been. My situation was fairly similar to yours (take a look at my earliest posts) and it got very bad at one point, but we came through it when common sense prevailed.

I think there's bound to be some initial bitterness and anger on her part, but you'll need to grit your teeth and roll with the punches. I'm not going to lie to you, it won't be easy.

My advice to you is to work with the mother, rather than against her. If your child is born into an environment of conflict, it's not really the best of starts is it?

FM '70

Just a little update on my current situation, my daughter is 2 months old now. Relationship was sort of ok at times because i always walk away with a smile instead of arguing. I cant really stand her unreal behaviour anymore. One good out of it is my daughter was born healthy and i'm registered on the birth certificate even though we are not married which means i have PR.
We rented a 2 bedroom flat instead staying with her mother which would have saved us alot of money because she wanted to move out. Obviously i'm the one paying the rent because she's on her maternity leave. Recently she complaint that she's lonely and bored at home with the baby. She always goes back to her mothers place to stay overnight. Sometimes i dont even get to see my daughter when i come back home from work (10 hours shift ). She would made me travel to her mothers place to see her and baby ( only like 15mins away) but thats not the point because when u come back from work u want to relax and see your child and not go to someone's house.
Even after my 10 hours sometimes 12 hours shift i would still make the effort to change the nappy/feed baby in the middle of the night when i can. Sometimes i just cant even open my eyes because i was too knackered but she wouldn't understand me. She kept saying that looking after baby isnt easy and i should try to look after baby. I did try to work with the mother instead of against her but it's not working at all. I suspect she has some sort of depression.
Anyway to cut the story short again with my current situation, i doubt i'll be granted residence order due to the baby just only 3 months old. Even though we shared equal parental rights but mother always have the upper hand. If we can come to an agreement on the terms do i have to go through solicitor/court to make things black and white?

If you come to an agreement in mediation, then you can get it written into an order by the court, or you could leave it to see how it goes, and if it breaks down, then you can use it as a basis for a contact order later on.