[Solved] Where do I stand...my Son wants to be with me.

Hi there 🙂

As your son is 13 he has a big say in where and with who he wants to live with. I would telephone the police and explain the situation and ask them where you stand legally before doing anything. If they confirm what you've already been told then you will be able to go ahead.

If you carry this through you must then apply for Residency ASAP because you can be sure thats exactly what the mother will do! So in this situation, unless you can get the mothers agreement, you will have to go to court to secure yours and your sons future.

Good luck 🙂

Hi Nanny..(hope you don't mind me calling you that, but I read your subscript at the bottom of your post)

Thank you so much for your reply, you obviously give so much of your time to this site, as I have seen your posts on here.

I am going to phone the police tomorrow and see where I stand, my ex wife has sucked the life out of my son, he was not that happy bubbly 13 year old I last saw only 2 months ago....he looks like he has the weight of the world on his shoulders.
Tonight, I have spent the night sobbing at this thought, we are so close and what she is doing is criminal, as my Sister says (her husband has lost his kids from a previous marriage, through poision) the law should be changed, " yes there are many men out there not fit to see their kids, but it should be up to the mother to go to a court of law to prove that" not the fact that any woman who chosses to use the children as " just another weapon in there arsenal", and the man has to prove he is fit to see the kids.
My son wants to be with me, this I have known for a while, but "i did not want to rock the boat". Now my son needs me so I will be there....

I will let you know how I get on. You are an angel.
Kind regards

...The "Nanny knows best" subscript was a bit tongue in cheek! :whistle: but of course you can call me Nanny!

You probably needed a good old cry, sometimes it helps to get all that emotion out but now you must pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get yourself organized!

Keep your solicitor informed and if as you say your son has been physically and mentally abused, it might be an idea to contact Childrens Services and share your concerns with them. Whenever you need to talk to the authourities make sure you ask them to log your calls and make a record of what is discussed. It might also help to keep a diary and write down everything that involves your children and your ex, and try not to have any sort of contact with her that cant be recorded.... emails and txts are best.

You mentioned your daughter, the only thing that may cause a problem is the fact that by your actions you are seperating them, and the court do bear this in mind. Just be aware...it does happen because my son has his son who has a half sister, she is still with the mother. I will say it has had a detrimental effect on his sister so I would be very mindful of the impact on your daughter. I should imagine you will be pushing for contact with her and she will need to have quality time with her brother too. Even if you think your daughter has been turned against you, she is worth fighting for, and this kind of alienation can be reversed so dont give up on her.

Best of luck with it all 🙂

I agree wholeheartedly with everything NJ has written here, especially about your daughter - she could potentially feel abandoned, so if and when your son comes to live with you, I would have a talk with your daughter as quickly as possible to tell here how much you love her, and that you'd love her to come and live with you as well.

Thanks guys,
Yes I have thought all this through, while my daughter has managed to be "brain washed" by her mother and has recently sent me a nasty text, I plan to try and talk to her, she seems happy with her mother, although, many times in the past when I have picked my kids up she has been sobbing, due to having just been "ripped into" by her Mother.

My plan is to go and see my son again, fully explain the situation (cons and pros), If he is still wants to come to mine then give him a date, bythen I will have recieved a non compliance form for mediation by my ex (spoke to the mediator today no reply in 3 weeks). Plan 1 more appointment with my solicitor (just to confirm things) then I will precede on my own. I have already phoned the police (cheers Nanny Jane) they will prob send a officer around (trained in child welfare), but it is not a legal case, but civil. Once the date is set I will pick him up and get him to phone his Mums house immediatly to let her know he is safe. I will, then the following day submit a residence order as well as a contact order for my daughter.

Seems easy, but I know it is not, but I must think of my son.."my happy smiley boy has gone" and I want him back.

cheers everyone, any further input is greatly appreciated....
D

...Thanks for letting us know...I'd just like to mention that when/if you pick him up and take him home it might be better if you make the initial phone call to the mother to let her know, as she is likely to react and it would be unfair for him to be in the firing line. Reassure her that he is well and he will phone and speak to her when things have settled. Will you be picking him up from school as contact has been stopped? It might be a good idea to let the school know what is happening, and maybe arrange to pick him up from inside the school after you have him back, in case the mother turns up to take him back....It would be very upsetting for him if this were to happen.