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Hi,
I've been having my two children every other weekend for the last 7 years and speaking to them twice a week on the phone. We have also been on regular holidays and spent additional time together over the Christmas period. I have always tried to get more time with both children but have been met with obstacles and reluctance on almost all occasions. Our relationship has been extremely good and we have hundreds of photos that prove this. Just under two years ago my daughter wrote to me, out of the blue, to tell me she no longer wanted to see me (or anyone else associated with my family) anymore. This caught me by suprise and i wrote back to her gently answering all the points in the letter (not having her own room, going to the cinema once with her brother and not her and general minor gripes of a girl of 11). I continued to speak to her on the phone for a few months but this then petered out to nothing around June last year. She will now not even speak to me on the phone. I do, however, still write regular letters to my daughter in the hope she will one day reply.
I have still been seeing my son, who is now 9, every other weekend. This New Years Eve a dispute between my ex-wife and I arose over when my son should be returned home. She sent her husband 70 miles to come and 'take' him home. I did not answer the door (as advised by the Police)and my son remained with me until I returned him home the following morning, as I had agreed. I have received threats that the Police would be called and that I will now be taken to court (although what for I don't know).
Neither of us have any written agreement regarding contact, but I have religiously picked them both up over the years after our divorce.
I am considering applying for a contact order to ensure that firstly I can guarantee regular contact and secondly my son will not be exposed to the manipulation my ex-wife tries in attempting to put my son off. This was evident (and voiced) by my daughter before we lost contact and I am sure this is the reason we no longer speak. I have never rowed with my daughter or treated her badly in any way.
I have never not turned up to pick either child up, been to regular parents evening (I have offered to go jointly but was met with silence), been to school assemblies, taken my daughter horse riding, taken both children on holidays, take my son to football matches as well as helped run the team he played for, sat and made things with both of them, helped with homework and I have also been paying my maintenance through the CSA for 6 years (I had to approach them as my ex was unwilling to review the £500 a month I paid her). I offered mediation to my ex but was again met with silence. She has re-married two years ago and I have also had to go to solicitors to take advice after he threatened to change his phone number and allow me one call a week on a certain day and time.
If anyone has been through anything similar or has any advice I would love to hear from you......Any advice would be welcomed.
Many thanks.
If you have tried mediation (may be worth one more shot at it) then I'd go for a contact order otherwise you could end up in the same position with your son as you have with your daughter. Go for the contact order for both your children - not just your son - as your daughter will also see that you are fighting to see her, and not just your son, and even if she doesn't appreciate it now, she may do so in years to come.
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