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Dear All,
First of, thanks to whomever setup these forums for dads; kind of makes one feel there is hope yet; and an apology if what I'm going to ask is a bit of a FAQ, but I did search, and there is nothing that fits the current state of my affairs so here goes ..
My relationship with my current has reached a dead-end, and there is every likelihood that we will be divorcing. We have four children between the two of us, all from this marriage - 8-year-old boy, twin 5-year-old twin girls and a 2-and-a-half year old girl; all from this marriage.
She has a number of issues, both with behavioural stability and parenting. She has been served with a written undertaking and contract from Child Services as regards her approach to parenting, and this is exclusive to her and not myself, subsequent to an evaluation by child services workers of the kids at school. I have also kept a record of various key violations to this order, such as her approach towards the children and disciplining them, which she has been expressly forbidden from doing. She has no job, not worked in her life in the UK. Finally, and as regards behavioural stability, she has a big tendency for mood swings (which can be shown) and so abusive towards some members of my family, that she decided to pick a fight with my sister-in-law on the school ground where both families' children attend, been given a written warning by the head-teacher and told her presence on the school ground was not welcome; as a result, I have had the soul responsibility of dropping the children and picking them up, as well as the usual soul responsibility of interfacing with the school due to her relative incompetence with the system and English (her first language is Russian).
Given the above, the children's ages, further issues to do with her background prior to our 9-year marriage and other anecdotal facts, can someone shed the light of experience on the following questions:
- Can I demand a psychiatric evaluation of her state of mind and competence to be taken into consideration into the custody challenge?
- How much weight does all the above bear in the eyes of courts, and given the above, what are the chances of requesting a temporary residence order with myself meanwhile a child custody case is being fought?
- Would her affiliation with a religious sect with very questionable child protection issues and a few high profile court cases over the years, most recently in 2011, also count in my favour to win the custody case?
- I am a computer scientist and have arranged my work to be mainly home-based. This has helped me massively in dealing with the issue she created with the school, as well as spending a good amount of time with the kids. Can I use this as leverage?
- ]What would be my chances of seeking soul custody and residence of the children to live with me in our current home (I am the soul mortgage payer), with contact arrangements being made with the kids in a contact centre going forward?
- She constantly accuses me of having affairs, as well as claims of having seen contact with other women on my phone. The first never happened, and the second was brought about by my desperation for venting space given our situation. How would this affect my chances?
Finally, can someone recommend a specialist lawyer and solicitor duo who have particular expertise in these sorts of cases, with an excellent track record of winning custody cases for fathers in the same or similar situation to myself?
I have been out of work for the last couple of months, lived of whatever I had left from my last contract, and continuing to see to our needs (albeit with difficulty) out of fringe work and family help.
Advice greatly appreciated.
With thanks ..
Enkido.
Hi Enkido
I think initially at least, it would be worth getting an opinion from the Childrens Legal Centre I'll ask them if they can pop on here, so keep checking back here.
Dear Enkido
Thank you for your message.
As you were married to your children’s mother, you have Parental Responsibility for them. This does not become void upon you divorcing their mother. Parental Responsibility is defined in s.3(1) Children Act 1989 as being:
"all the rights, duties, powers, responsibilities and authority which by law a parent of a child has in relation to the child and his property".
As you have Parental Responsibility, you have equal rights and responsibilities towards your children with the mother.
Practically Parental Responsibility means that both parties should consult and consent on issues such as schooling, medical issues, change of name, removal from the jurisdiction and other major issues concerning the child.
In terms of the questions you pose:
1) You can request this type of report in Residence proceedings. However please be aware that this is down to the Judge to decide whether this should be conducted. Please also note that you may have to bear some of the costs for this to take place.
With regards to your other questions, the Courts main consideration is the welfare of the children. The Courts will take into consideration all the evidence put forward by yourself and the children's mother in terms of residence and base their decision on what is in the children's best welfare. The Courts will also follow the Welfare Checklist when deciding whether to make an Order which is:
•The ascertainable wishes and feelings of the child concerned, taking into account that child's age and understanding.
•The Child's physical, emotional and educational needs and whether the person applying for the Contact order can meet those needs.
•The Child's age, [censored], background and any relevant characteristics.
•Any harm that the child has suffered or is at risk of suffering.;
•How capable the child's parents are, or any other person in relation to whom the Court considers the question to be relevant is, of meeting the child's needs.
•The likely affect on the child of any change in circumstances.
•The range of powers available to the Court in the proceedings in question.
In terms of contact for the non-resident parent, Contact is seen to be the right of the child and not the right of the parent and it is down to the Court to determine what contact is in the child's best welfare. You can put forward your suggestions that contact is supervised.
We are unable to give your our opinion on your case or what your chances of success would be.
If you do wish to apply for a Residence Order Order you would need to complete a C100 form which can be obtained from www.justice.gov.uk or from your local Family Proceedings Court. There is a fee of £200 for this application. Once you complete the form you then need to lodge the form at your Local Family Proceedings Court and then the Court will write to you with a hearing date.
We cannot recommend solicitors to you, however if you do wish to instruct a solicitor in your local area we would suggest visiting www.lawsociety.org.uk where you can search for a solicitor using your postcode.
If you do require further legal advice and you are not instructing a solicitor please feel free to contact our freephone advice line on 0808 8020 008 open 8am-8pm Monday to Friday. Alternatively you can contact us via our webchat facility www.childrenslegalcentre.com which is open Monday to Friday 9-6pm.
Yours sincerely,
Coram Children’s Legal Centre
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