[Solved] worried about my daughter

This is a tricky one. When was the last time you spoke with your daughter? You say you don't see as much as you would like, but how often is it? I take it that you are no longer as close as you'd like to be?

It may be wise to look at a way for reintergrating your daughter into your family, but it's easier said than done.

I'd be interested in hearing what other dads have to say on the subject. Hopefully someone with a similar experience will contribute a thought or two?

FM '70

Hi thanks for reply.

Its just special occasions we meet now, her mother is married and she live with a step brother also. Because she does not live with me she gets humpy and disrepects me when i try to tell her right from wrong and will not see me 🙁 last time we spoke on phone in June i asked to see her and she said she was going to a party so f*** off!..we havnt spoke since and seeing all what she is getting up to on twitter has shocked me!! im really worried she is acting too old for her age and going down the wrong path....but i have no say and cant do anything its soo frustrating seeing her turn out the way she is

At thirteen she'll react badly to be told that her behaviour is unacceptable and she'll deliberately try to push her bounderies. I think rather than concentrating on what she's doing wrong, you should maybe concentrate on the things that she does right and try and encourage more of it.

Does she have a good relationship with your other children? I wonder whether you can invite her out on family trips or holidays? Try to reintergrate her into your family. You mentioned that you had regular contact before your ex became obstructive and manipulative. How regular has contact been over the last seven years? Does your daughter live local to you?

its been only about two or three times a year in past year or so its got worse. She lives in another town about hours drive away. I am contantly asking if shed like to come down but answer is always no. She calls her new sepbrother her 'brother' and her half brother and sister are known as 'your children' (they are only 4 and 6):( When i try and call her mother says 'your lovley father is on the phone' so she must be saying all sorts to my daughter!

Im not a dead beat dad, i work i give them money i am always aking to see her with the kids or even just us two, i practically brought her up the first 6 years of her life while her mum was out clubbing working, i have never bad mouthed her mother now i just feel i am thrown to the side and have no say in the way he life has gone downhill

its so frustrating maybe i should just leave it and wait for her to contact me? Because if i phone i get told to F off! Its a hard one :unsure:

It doesn't seem like there are too many options open to you at the moment other than patience. You could try and discuss your concerns with her mother, but it seems unlikely - given how things are - that anything positive will come from this.

The legal route isn't going to be particularly productive. Your daughter is at an age were she can decide what she wants, and doesn't want, to do - so a court would take this into consideration and they can't force her to see you 🙁

Did you seek legal advice at the time that your ex first became obstructive regarding contact? Is there a reason you didn't pursue this through the courts?

Thankyou for your time and help.

I should of really fought for joint acess when she was 7 you are right, didnt realise her mum would be so liberal with her daughter and let her hang around the streets at night.

I will sit back and see what happens and maybe one day i might get a call, its true she is old enough now to make her own decisions now weather to see me or not.

Many Thanks