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[Solved] Worried Sick


Posts: 218
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Topic starter
(@Cuddles)
Reputable Member
Joined: 12 years ago

In your opinion as fathers going through court etc, do the courts always believe the mother? My son has been accused of saying some things that he hasn't. We believe she has done this in order to either stop or delay him getting access to the child.

I so want to go into more detail but the girl has found things that I have posted asking for information before on other sites and is trying to use that against him, so we have been advised not to say anything. It is breaking my heart that if her lies are believed, it could ruin his future. He has never done anything wrong, not even got a parking ticket, whereas she has got quite a coloured past - drugs, self harm, attempted suicide and other things.

The judge at the last hearing even said to my son's barrister that this took the biscuit as she announced the allegations for the first time in the meeting before court although she had put some things in place with NSPCC but did not act on their advice. I am worried sick now that she will be believed. He can't prove he didn't say the things that she is alleging but I suppose she can't prove he did say them unless she brings in some friend who "witnessed" him saying these things.

The hearing has now been moved from a family court to a county court.

4 Replies
4 Replies
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(@Nannyjane)
Joined: 13 years ago

Illustrious Member
Posts: 5426

Try not to worry too much about this Cuddles. Judges hear accusations like this alot and are usually pretty good at sorting the real from the fake. If she produces a witness which she hadn't mentioned before, then your barrister will make the most of this fact! Dads do have a harder time of it in court sometimes and thats down to the judge on the day really... and as you point out, it cant be proven either way. Generally proof is the only thing that will carry weight and the judge you had recently was quick to comment on her allegations in a derogatory way. Hold onto that and try not to get ground down by what ifs.

If the judge has asked for police reports etc, then her past will be evident, as will your sons, and again a good barrister will home in on this. If no reports have been requested thus far then I would most certainly be asking for them at the next hearing, as well as drug tests if she has a record of drug use.

I'm going to PM you so keep an eye on your messages. 🙂

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Registered
(@dad-i-d)
Joined: 14 years ago

Noble Member
Posts: 1306

Speaking from my own fight in one way i have to be very thankful that my ex has acted the way she has, she has involved the police several times and they have each time reported her to be unreasonable and having no proof of DV only her word against mine.
the judge in my fight ordered a "Finding of Fact" hearing as my ex kept coming up with new allegations and excuses for breaking contact orders....
the police diclosure records were absolutely fantastic for me....every one back up my defence against her false claims and showed her to be the liar she is!
however this has still not stopped her preventing contact and i am still fighting her through the courts......she is running out of excuses and rope now though and she will have to eventually stop this game.....although i fear it may already have cost me my bond with my little one as well as many thousands of wasted £££'s

unfortunately for many dads like myself when these false allegations are thrown in to the fight (as they seem more n more common now) the women (generally) are assumed to be the victim until its proven / disproven otherwise.....this is the courts being so cautious these days just in case there is real DV involved.

i jsut wish there was some way the courts would stand up to these false accusers....after all surely its still classed as Purgery!?!?!

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(@Cuddles)
Joined: 12 years ago

Reputable Member
Posts: 218

Thank you both. As I said, I am worried sick for him at the moment but hopefully her colourful past will also go against her and they will see the sort of person she is.

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 actd
Registered
(@dadmod4)
Joined: 15 years ago

Illustrious Member
Posts: 11892

Hi Cuddles

I agree that it's wise to keep this off the forum except in vague terms, though if you post anything that you can back up in court with evidence, then it shouldn't be a problem. NJ has already sent you a message from what she has posted above, and that is secure from google searches. Feel free to send a message to anyone you think may have been through the same situation (especially if they've been on the forum very recently, so are still active on here).

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