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[Solved] Dads are Better

 
AndrewSmith
(@AndrewSmith)
Active Member Registered

I'll be posting my articles from http://dadsarebetter.com/ here and hopefully discuss the issues that are driving me nuts 🙂

I started the blog because I feel fathers are largely underestimated as able parents, mothers are largely overestimated as parents, and as a result kids grow up with only half an education. It's a shame!

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Topic starter Posted : 26/01/2017 12:06 pm
AndrewSmith
(@AndrewSmith)
Active Member Registered

Don’t sleep with children:

It’s 3:30 in the morning and I’m wide awake because my two-year-old son got out of his bed and into ours. What a great topic to write my first blog post on. It exemplifies some of the reasons I started this website.

Ever since my first child was born I was dead against the idea of sleeping with them. I’ve had no first-hand experience with it but I’ve read some parenting books and went to some parent-to-be gatherings and I knew that this was going to be a thing.

Your child will want to sleep with you, and they will try everything they can to get what they want. (That’s a theme I expect to continue till they’re adults :)) The whining begins in the first 24 hours of their life, and the only three things they need at that time are:

* Food,
* Diaper changes, and
* A warm body to be next to

It’s perfectly natural, and kind of beautiful, and it’s the beginning of a slippery slope that will last until they’re grown up.

Some say not to sleep with your infant because you may crush them. I’m not sure that’s a real concern, or a made-up tale to scare new parents. There so many tales like that – it’s hard to know which of them are significant risks and which are a 1% of 1% of 1% risk that maybe something possibly bad will happen. For this post I was thinking more of the longer-term.

The question I asked myself was “Does this little shit need to sleep with me, or does he just want to?”.

For this question, and for most other questions – the answer is that the kid doesn’t need it, they just want it. I want my children to grow up tough, independent, and otherwise awesome. That means I do not tolerate whining. That means that I don’t reward whining. That means that whining about wanting to sleep with me is going to get them to sleep on their own.

I’m not making this up, I know it’s hard. It’s so hard that most parents give up the first night and never have the strength to try it again. But I can tell you from experience that it’s worth it.

One of the ways I tought my kids to sleep on their own is to hold them until they shut up, and then put them down. They immediately start crying again, and then depending on how I felt I would either pick them back up immediately, or leave them crying for some time. Then I repeat variations of this cycle until they’re asleep.

To parents of whiny babies this might sound like wishful thinking, but it’s not. It’s hard to do, it takes a lot of energy and brings the parent to the breaking point several times a day. But after a while the child learns this is how things are going to be, and accepts it. That’s when the parent who made the up-front investment gets to reap the rewards. Because hard as this is, the alternative is worse. The alternative is for you to be sleeping with your children until they naturally no longer want to, which is likely 6 years old!

I’m sure I haven’t always made the best decisions as a parent, but this one I’m 100% confident with. Sleeping with your children isn’t good or bad for the children – but it’s very bad for you.

Have you already started doing it? I expect you can teach them to sleep on their own at any time, but I’d love to hear about it.
   
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Topic starter Posted : 26/01/2017 12:14 pm
Danbruno1105
(@Danbruno1105)
Reputable Member Registered

Dads are also smarter financially you could for paying for private school £400 a month and clothes and everything else the mother takes you for child support for £200 for e g per month your only obligation she thinks it's an award but when you crunch the numbers wich ones cheaper ,

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Posted : 26/01/2017 3:05 pm
AndrewSmith
(@AndrewSmith)
Active Member Registered

Why I hate the colour pink:

I hate pink because of what it stands for – a cute but weak, useless, and dependent girl. My daughter is not allowed to become that.

So many people ask why my daughter is not wearing pink, sparkly, frilly clothes, and most of them have good intentions, but that’s a poor excuse for doing shitty things. The reason is not the money. I threw out 20 times more “girl” clothes we got as gifts than I had to buy. My daughter is wearing clothes inherited from her brother because they are much better than the clothes you buy from a girl’s section at the store. And when we get new clothes for her – they come from the boy’s section not because they are boy’s clothes, but because they are simply “clothes”.

Women generally treat other people’s children like babies (which is bad enough), but they lose control completely when they see pink. The pitch of their voice goes up, the vocabulary drops to 25 words, and those words lose half of their syllables. They have more serious conversations with their dogs than they do with little girls. I know you can’t have an adult conversation with a toddler, but I also know that you can speak normally to them.

The problem isn’t limited to baby girls, boys get it pretty badly too. But it’s especially bad for girls, especially looking at how women are treated in the west.

Back where I come from women had the same rights (and responsibilities) as men decades before in the west women were acknowledged to have any rights at all. And despite the half a century of outrageous women’s liberation movements, those same women insist on treating girls like fluffy pussies, somehow missing the obvious links between expectations, abilities, and opportunities.

That’s why my daughter doesn’t wear pink. She’s a girl, but not just any girl. She’s going to grow up to be awesome, more awesome than her parents.
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Topic starter Posted : 29/01/2017 9:53 am
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