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firstly me and my dad had a good relationship until i lost my mum when i was 14 to cancer so i was put in care for a year then went to live with my antie and uncle im now 24, he just drifted away its been 10yrs since that time and i have only seen him 3 times, he never rings me i have two kids but is my wifes from a previous partner and he aint seen him since he was 4 months old and he is now 2 so he dont even ring to see how we are i always have to ring him and when i do its like he dont want to talk to me he rings my other brothers and my sister and he asks them how i am insted of ringing me and asking himself i passed my driving test and brought my first car without his help and it feel wired that i dont have a dad any more to talk to he has 3 other ids who i dont speck to because of it all and ask question about car insurance or the car tax can someone give me advise on how to deal with this or how to speck to him about it
Hi
I'll ask Relate if they can pop on here (they're not just about marriages) - it definitely is something you need a resolution to.
Hi there and welcome 🙂
I really feel for you and what you have been through, not only did you lose your Mum, you lost your Dad too, and I cant begin to imagine how hard it must have been for you, coping with bereavement and being put into care at such a crucial time in your life.
There could be many reasons why your Dad has behaved in the way he has, guilt is the first to spring to mind. It may be that his own grief clouded everything and the longer he left it, the harder it was for him to find his way back. The guilt he may feel at deserting you and not being there for you may be overwhelming for him, and he may not know how to make it better, or wether he even could....
Perhaps it might be a good idea to try Mediation, they may be able to help you and your Dad to open a dialogue and perhaps get some counselling as a family. There is a charge for their services unless you are unemployed or on a low income.
Heres a link ~ www.nfm.org.uk
If they are unable to help, they may be able to point you in the right direction.
If you are struggling emotionally, then it might be a good idea to speak to your GP about how you're feeling, it might be helpful to attend counselling where you will be able to talk things through, they will be able suggest ways to help you cope better.
Is there a family member that might help bring you and your Dad together so that you have an opportunity to start talking again....perhaps the Auntie and Uncle that you lived with after being in care.
You could even try writing to him and tell him how you feel and what you would like to happen, sometimes we find it easier to put it all down on paper.
Good luck with it all and keep in touch 🙂
relate are relationship counselling - they are more usually associated with helping couples in a relationship, but in fact they deal with all sorts of relationships. You could give them a call directly - there is a link to them at the bottom of this website.
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
