[Solved] extra time spent with my 14mouth
Hello Everyone I'm new to this
Just wanted to ask
I have been to court in Feb this year and was given visits every Saturday, this was for 4 hours and went up to six hours when he was one, he is now 14 months old.
I have just applied to take mum back to court to extend these visits as they have gone really well.
I have never lived with mum but have seen him every week since he was born firstly starting at an hour contact centre, play areas moving forward to today.
He calls me da da and knows who I am, he knows my home really well, knows his play room and also sleeps in his cot through the day.
What should I expect to granted at court mum will not extend visits and has made it clear she is sticking to the court order.
Hi and welcome
Nobody can predict what a court would decide and the court will expect you to have a proposal of how to progress things.
To give an idea a bog standard contact arrangement to work towards would be - alternate weekends, weds for tea or overnight & a share of school holidays and special occasions.
You can write a brief position statement for the first hearing, keep it to two pages or less, give a bit of background, why you are applying and what you would like the court to do.
You could say I am seeking an eventual order as follows (and lay out something like I've written above) but say 'I appreciate it will take some time to progress from the current situation to that proposed and suggest that we start as follows (put your suggestions here). Given the history of the matter, I believe it is clear a detailed order is required that lays out this progression to save further applications being made'
Good luck and keep posting, we will do what we can to help.
Hello I'm back again
Have had my telephone interview from Cafcass, mum has stated some not nice stuff all of witch are lies, Cafcass have written at the bottom that they think contact should stay the same till he is four is this normal?
The only thing I've tried to do with mum is talk about extending visits she has said that I'm harassing her.
I have my first court date next week what should I be doing or what do I expect?
Do I reply to the Cafcass letter and to the C1a form?
I am presenting myself.
I'm sure every situation is different, but we didn't get overnights until the child was 3.5 years old. Until then it was every Saturday for 6 hours (built up gradually from 2 hours every Saturday).
As it stands you're seeing your child every Saturday, and that seems pretty standard for really young children as they need more frequent contact rather than longer hours. As they get older things usually progress to overnights.
If the mum is adamant and cafcass say it's in the best interests of the child to wait until they're 4, there's a good chance that is what the judge may order.
But like I say, every situation is different, and every judge is different.
It's a pity they have recommended that in their S2, have they given reasons?
It might be useful for the court if you write a brief position statement which you can hand in at court on the morning of the hearing. Just a couple of pages explaining how well contact has been and how happy and comfortable your son is when he is with you and that allowing contact to progress is above all in his best interests, as it would enable you both to spend quality time together, to further strengthen your bond. Explain that the only time you have tried talking to mum was concerning progressing contact. If she has made allegations that you can disprove, go into a brief explanation about that too, without making it personal, try and avoid saying bad things about her back and if you think,she is a good mum it's ok to say that.
It might also help to prepare a schedule of increasing contact, slowly extending visits until overnights can start when he is about two.... a full day at first for a while, then moving up to two full days and then introducing an overnight. As I'm not sure what contact you have at the moment I can't be more specific, but if you take a step up at a time and let him settle into that for three months or so before increasing it again that gives him and his mother time to adjust.
Best of luck
Went to court Tuesday, was meant to have a interview with Cafcass, they decided that it was not needed and I went straight up in front of the magistrates, I started off telling them why an increase of visit was in my sons best interest, he stopped me and asked what I wanted to change on the order, I told them, they told me they would be going with the Cafcass report and that was it over.
To be honest it was a total waste of time, he is 16 months old and was told this is all I'm getting till he is 3 years old, then at 3 years old I will get another visit up to 6 hours that me and his mum need to discuss.
Mum point blank will not talk to me she is bitter and nasty about every thing, what there are saying is until me and mum can talk this is how its going to be, you can not reason with mum, so her being the way she has been has worked and now she knows this works she will carry on being like this.
I have a clean record have never been in any kind of trouble, have played all of this by the book and look where it has got me. with nothing just because I didn't want to be with my sons lying cheating mother anymore.
The court system is a total joke, I'm now sitting here think what next??
Sorry was meant to say at present I have him for 6 hours on a Saturday, I was asking to increase these to 8 hours for 2 months then adding a extra visit every other Sunday then moving these Sundays into weekends when he reaches two.
If that was your first hearing and they've told you that it has to stay with the CAFCASS recommendations and made a final order, then you haven't had a fair hearing and could appeal on that basis. It should go to a final hearing. Appealing will incur further court application costs and there is no guarantee of success but if you wish to consider it, this link offers more info. You have 21 days to appeal.
I would suggest giving Child Advice a call or speaking with a solicitor.
Hello me again, have been having my son now every Saturday for 6 hours, he is three in two months this is when my visits go up to two 6hours per week. Mum has told me I can't have him for 6 hours Sunday because it's her family day, I work every week day
She is offering me to add another 4 on the Saturday going against the court order, ive tried suggesting maybe do this for a few weeks then maybe try some over nights as I work 1/2 day every forth Saturday.
When going to court should I expect to be granted overnights at 3 years old??
I would have thought that if contact has been going well, which it has presumably, then a court would consider that some overnights would be perfectly reasonable. You would need to try mediation first, so it may be that you can actually come up with an agreement with your ex which will suit you, and mean you don't need to go any further, but if not, then by all means go back to court.
As actd says, if contact has been going well, there shouldn't be a problem getting the court to agree to a full weekend Sat -Sun. They will take account of your work schedule and can easily work around it.
As actd says, it's mandatory to try mediation first, to try and get some agreement, but I wouldn't be too worried about going back to court if she refuses.
It will give you the opportunity to get some extra time during the holidays and shared Christmas and birthdays too.
Thank you for your input.
Today I went to mediation, the mediator told me that that my ex had agreed to a joint mediation session and told me we would sit around a table and discuss moving forward with my son.
I went today found it confusing and there was a lot of room changes and we didn't come face to face, is this normal ?
I walked away confused and didn't know what was what.
I later called my mediator and questioned my experience, she said I'd agreed on some stuff that I hadn't.
I have set the record straight and explained my concerns.
Turns out we hadn't agreed on anything, she has given me the part I need for court.
Just when you think your getting somewhere, she did state that as nothing was agreed I need to go back to court.
When my court order was set my exs solicitor asked for no over night stay till my son is four years old, but court did say we were to come back to court when my son was 3 to move things forward if me and my ex couldn't agree.
my weekly six hour visits have gone really well none have been missed, my son speaks really well and keeps asking to sleep in his bedroom here and Asks every week to stay longer he gets upset when its home time. We have build a beautiful bond.
Am I still to go for overnights.