[Solved] Mother loses custody battle of four-year-old son to ‘hugely committed father’
A mother lost custody of her four-year-son at a provincial family law court, where a District Court judge said it was in the child’s best interests that he lived with his “hugely committed father”.
The boy’s father cried in court as the judge awarded him sole custody of the child.
In making the order for sole custody, the judge said the mother had until recently abandoned her son to the father and her own mother.
The judge overruled a recommendation of a social worker’s report that stated the four-year-boy and his younger half-brother are a unit and one that should not be disturbed. The boys have been living with their mother.
Tulsa had placed the four-year-old on its “Neglect” register earlier this year and the judge said that during his four years, the boy had lived at 11 different addresses with his mother and his half-brother had lived at seven in the past year alone.
The woman is now “clean” after recently completing a treatment programme for her addiction to drink and drugs and made a plea to the judge to retain custody of her boy.
She told the judge: “The only thing I have is my kids and judge I would ask you to leave them with me so that I get the help that I need and to trust the social workers who are putting me in the right direction.”
She continued: “If I didn’t have my kids, I would feel that my heart would be gone. I would feel I would have lost everything. I have lost enough now. I have lost friends and family because of my addiction. My kids are the last thing I have and I hope and pray that what I have done over the last three months that I will be able to keep them.”
The mother cried as she told the court that the way she is described in a report about her life prior to giving up alcohol and drugs “was a very troubled person”.
‘I am ashamed’
She said: “I am ashamed…It is like reading a story about a different girl. I fell into addiction. I turned to drink when something bad would happen and get into drugs. But I eventually asked for help and got treatment. I have started to come around and get my life in order, but I was living in hell because a lot of stuff that happened me.”
The woman said that her former partner “is the best in the world and he is a really good father but I feel I should stay the primary carer”.
In his ruling the judge said that the mother “has taken huge steps with remarkable success in terms of dealing with her problems and I commend her for that and the success she has achieved”.
However, he added: “The court is now asked to accept following a very short time of rehabilitation that all is in order and that there will be no difficulties in the times ahead.”
I know this is a US case (and if anything bias is greater in the UK).
So, a mother is a drug addict that has previously abandoned her child, and the social worker's recommendation to the court is still that the child should remain with its mother rather than with his caring father.
I think this sums up society's bias against fathers very well indeed.