[Solved] please help me

Hi There,

Have you been paying your ex regularly towards your child?

If CSA have requested you pay then even if you have been paying your ex privately then you will need to start to pay through CSA.

Darren

hi darren
the answer to that is only the once.ive always paid for clothes and more when she is with me.my name is not on the birth cert..

...I dont think the fact that your not on the birth certificate matters to the CSA...the only thing that will stop them from pursuing you now is if you deny that you are the father and ask for a DNA test. They will order a test but if you are proven to be the father they will backdate the CSA from the day they first contacted you.

ive already done a dna test im the father.its not fare a women just can change her mind and we fathers carnt do anything about it... 🙁

is there anything i can do with we paying for my daughter csa .cause i want to see her more but X not playing ball.i have a court order for me to see my daughter but she wont let me have my daughter over nyt.do i go back to solictor..

CSA payments and contact are not linked I'm afraid. As you are her father and the ex has asked the CSA to claim maintenance on her behalf theres nothing that you can do about it. If you dont pay you will go into arrears and they can take it straight from your wages before you even get it!

If you are unhappy with the contact you are being allowed then you can try mediation ~ www.nfm.org.uk

Or you can return to court and ask for a defined contact order. You could then ask for a share of holidays, as in Christmas and Easter and also the summer holidays.

Hi There,

NJ is right CSA and contact are seperate issues, as you are the father then you are liable to pay towards the your childs life. I know it seems an easy arguement to make, that you don't get to see so why should you pay, but it isn't the right way to look at it.

If you have a contact order in place then I would try and see if your ex will attend mediation first to see if she will comply to the order again, and if she won't then you can apply to the court for an enforcement order, I would say though that with holding CSA won't help if you do go to mediation as your ex will almost certainly raise this as an issue. She would also be wrong to do this as, as said the 2 things are different issues, BUT mediation would turn into a [censored] for tat conversation.

Darren

Hi
Everyone is right by saying contact and maintanance are seperate issues, in a way its a shame they are as Im sure it would stop a lot of women playing mind games and controlling.
Sorry but im curious, did she know you were the father before she put her ex name on the birth certificate, did she do that so the child would have her last name ? as it would have had it anyway . it baffles me why women behave this way .If you have had a letter from csa you will have to start paying straight away. Accept any contact you get at the moment and go back to court like Darren said for an enforcement order. You can do this your self with out solicitors to keep the costs down. I wouldnt mention to her you were doing it as she may stop contact. Have you tried sending her a letter stating what contact you would like . How come she has all of a sudden gone to see csa and asking you for money, has something changed in her life.

I think your ex has played her trump card - contacting the CSA would for many women be the threat "give me some money or else" Now she has done that I would get some legal advise about proper access

If you are being made to pay then you should be allowed more than 6 hours every now and again

Have you contacted the child maitenance link at the foot of this page?

yes my x did know i was the father and she put her x on the birth cert,well im going to see my daughter on saturday hopefully no problems.
i dont mind payong for my daughter its just i want more time with her like staying over.
other thing is how do i go by going to court without the solicitors...

Take a look at yojis "guide to representing yourself" at the top of the legal eagle section - that's a good start.

Hi
I hope you have a lovely saturday with your daughter. Have you read the sticky telling you how to do represent yourself in court, its very useful and my son is taking the mother of his child to court for a defined contact order , he also gets his daughter 7 hours every two weeks, it used to be every week but she moved away. He as applied for overnight, its called stay contact. I cant see any reason why you would not get it, but be warned your ex will find one ! You need to download the c100 form you can fill it in on line but you cant save it, you will need to print it off. It is an easy form, it will cost you £200 which you need to send at the same time. As you are not on the Bc you can apply for parental responsibility at the same time , even though her ex is on the Bc , they might very well ask why he is when she knew he was not the father. The Bc belongs to the child and when she grows up she will see it and wonder why . Is he bringing your child up ?
The form is a c1 . The courts also like you to have tried mediation and if you have not because she has already refused you need to fill in a fm1 this is to explain why you have not gone

hi

no ive havnt tryed mediation how do i go with that,is that by court asweel?

Hi there

Heres a link to the mediation service ~ www.nfm.org.uk

This isnt through court you just contact them, you'll be able to find your nearest centre on their website. They will make an appointment for you on your own to attend, you will have a chat about what your problems are, and they would then write to your ex and ask her to attend, and with the help of a trained mediator, yo will talk things through, and hopefully come to an agreement.