[Solved] Birthing Partners

Hi Flashrabbit

Have you talked it through with your good lady? I'd start there and be honest about your concerns and fears, and desire to be there for her.

I'd go along with your wanting to be there for the moment - its like nothing else in the world! Can be difficult watching your partner in pain but being there the moment this little bundle comes into the world is AMAZING!!

Are you visiting the maternity ward? I bet they will only allow one person in at a time - but could be a good question to ask!

If they do allow more people in - you might need to come up with a rehearsed line about wanting it just to be you and your partner..... i guess its one of those times where you might have to assert the boundaries around your new family...

Hi Flashrabbit

Have you talked it through with your good lady? I'd start there and be honest about your concerns and fears, and desire to be there for her.

I'd go along with your wanting to be there for the moment - its like nothing else in the world! Can be difficult watching your partner in pain but being there the moment this little bundle comes into the world is AMAZING!!

Are you visiting the maternity ward? I bet they will only allow one person in at a time - but could be a good question to ask!

If they do allow more people in - you might need to come up with a rehearsed line about wanting it just to be you and your partner..... i guess its one of those times where you might have to assert the boundaries around your new family...

Hi Buzz,

Thank you very much for your reply, it's much appreciated! It's great to be able to bounce these things around with someone impartial.

I have tried to talk it through with my other half but to be honest the discussion is closed down. She has decided that she wants her sister there because she is a mother of three and had her last baby only three years ago, so is familiar with birthing procedures etc. This I can understand but she also wants her mum there because, it would upset her if she wasn't invited given that my wifes sister will be there. This I have more difficulty understanding, because surely the occasion is the birth of our baby and we should not have to worry about who we might upset by not inviting to the birth.

I fully expect the birth to be difficult because like you say it will be hard to watch my other half in pain but the outcome will be the most amazing experience ever and I wouldn't miss it for the world! I'm just worried that these two loud and overpowering women will diminish the experience by taking over the roll I am looking forward to playing so much.

My wife and I were married in July last year and I feel, rightly or wrongly that we have created our own little family unit now, seperate from the wider family and the moment our child is born should be something we share together without it being a family occasion. Having said that I can't help feeling selfish for feeling this way.

I think I'm just going to have to grin and bear it at the end of the day becasue I can't see anything changing.

what about trying a compromise of having them in the waiting area and coming in at transition?? Or about what point to call them .... Might allow you to minimise the time they are in.. And get a chance to show her how supportive you can be... Who knows she might then change her mind during / you might feel happier that you've had some time alone.

I'd keep talking, but also remember they may be more children and perhaps compromsing this time will mean next time its just you two??

Whens the baby due btw?

Hello again,

I had another chat with my other half and I think that I will have to accept this is the way she wants it and respect it. I'll just hope for the best scenario.

Ultimately I guess it is my role to support my wife through the birth, however she wants to do things. I do think that child birth gives a couple an ideal opportunity to bond like no other siuation, I just hope my wife and I can experience this without too much interferrance and over bearing behaviour. We'll see. 🙂

The baby's due on 25th April, a little boy and we've called him Harrison. When did you become a dad?

Thanks again for your input, it's been very helpful!

what about trying a compromise of having them in the waiting area and coming in at transition?? Or about what point to call them .... Might allow you to minimise the time they are in.. And get a chance to show her how supportive you can be... Who knows she might then change her mind during / you might feel happier that you've had some time alone.

I'd keep talking, but also remember they may be more children and perhaps compromsing this time will mean next time its just you two??

Whens the baby due btw?

.....I will have to accept this is the way she wants it and respect it.

I think that's an excellent decision, and now that you have done so, it may help you to be a bit more relaxed about the whole thing. Good luck to you both 🙂

I think its a shame that you have to accept it- although she is giving birth, you are the other parent, not her sister or Mum. However, you have some huge hills to climb in the near future, and giving way now will help ease the hard work ahead.

I found for the first few months, I had to be understanding even is she wanst. But it gets better and easier, and suddenly you'll wonder what the fuss was about

I think its a shame that you have to accept it- although she is giving birth, you are the other parent, not her sister or Mum. However, you have some huge hills to climb in the near future, and giving way now will help ease the hard work ahead.

I found for the first few months, I had to be understanding even is she wanst. But it gets better and easier, and suddenly you'll wonder what the fuss was about

Yeah, its a long term game!

Flash - in answer to your earlier my youngest is now 11 and I have to say for all three births it was different! I do remember being in a sate of awe (and slight shock I admit) after the first one thou... Just amazing experience! Keep us in touch with how its progressing!!