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So 3 years this year i have been split from my ex with whom i have a now 7yr old son with.
We split ammicably and agreed that if we were to get new partners we would meet up with them and our son so we could see who was going to be involved and so he could meet them to.
anyway the ex has a new partner and they live together as also they have just had a baby together too. Now i have no problem with him being in my sons life as he seems ok and my son seems happy especially that he has a baby brother.
What is getting to me is the fact that ive been with my partner longer than they have been together and my son is not involved at all, I took him to meet her a couple of times as with her kids and he had fun with them. ok was wrong of me as i didnt tell the ex straight away but her partner was involved with my son before i knew anything about him.
I keep trying to talk her about it and ive talked to my son about meeting my new partner and tried to make it fun for him, he seems ok with it but she wont let me take him anywhere near her until shes met her but on the same note she isnt willing to meet my partner and just says that my son doesnt want to meet her and its his choice.
Now im not being funny but what choice did he have of her new partner moving in, them having a baby, him being involved in his life and being there all the time, my son has adjusted to it and hes fine so why cant the same happen with him and my partner?
They whent away last year together and if my son had said to his mum i want mr x go home because he just does that would be his choice and she wouldnt tell mr x to go home, she would just say no hes not going home.
Just feel like shes against me. it would benefit him and he would have children his age to play with at the same time.
Im going mad and its depressing me coz i dont know what else to do. Nothing seems to work. also getting to my partner as we want to live together but i know shes right how can we when my son wouldnt be allowed to what would be my home. Do i just ride it out or is there something else i can do?
Ive been patient for the past year and half polite and ammicable, alkways there for my son, provided for him, ring him every other night and have him on a weekend. Also been nice to her and just feel like getting the [censored] taken out of me just because im a nice guy. How can i move this forward? Should i just take him with me 1 weekend to meet my partner again and face upsetting the apple cart or ride it out and wait for the happy ending?
How frustrating and unfair. My son is in the same boat , he has to get permission to have family members with him on his visit never mind a girlfriend, only two at a time and two weeks notice, and hes not aloud out of the area she lives. Its like being in prison. But she can go where she likes and is on her third relationship, we are in the court process , we are asking for all restrictions to be lifted. They are having medaition at the moment as the court agreed with cafcass this was the best way forward. I would suggest looking into mediation as a way forward www.nfm.org.uk/ they are well trained and deal with this every day. It does cost depending on your circumstances. But if you decided on the court route you can get a defined contact order and ask for restrictions to be lifted. The court will expect you to try mediation first. How do you get on with her new partner anfd does your ex know your girlfriend
Get on ok with him havent majorly chatted with him but ive got no problems with him.
No they dont know each other at all never met.
I can take him where i want just not near gf till he says he wants to well i mean until she says i can.what am i supposed to do if we're out and we bump into gf im not going to avoid her am i.
Just 1 stupid situation which doesnt need to be, understandably it upsets, hurts my gf that its still going on, sometimes she thinks its me not wanting it to happen although deep down she knows i do, like her i dont know why its so hard and whats so difficult about it and why its not sorted. So frustated.
Thankyou for advice, i will look into that
Are your partners children around the same age ? if so you could always just happen to meet up in a whacky type play are Just a thought !!
Hi there
This is an awful situation for you and you have been very patient. If your contact had been agreed by the court she wouldnt be able to put all these restrictions on you and ultimately she isn't acting in the best interests of your son by denying him access to your new family, as you point out she has integrated him into her new family, the same rights should apply to you.
I think it might help if you asked her to attend mediation, this would give you the opportunity to discuss these issues with the help of a trained Mediator and hopefully come to an agreement. In a neutral environment that is informal but has a specific agenda she may see things differently and relent. Heres a link ~
www.nfm.org.uk
Have a look too at the Relate website, they provide counselling for families so it might apply...
www.relate.org.uk
Lastly if none of this works you can apply to the court for a Contact Order and have this clarified officially. This is obviously a last resort but you are being prevented from moving forward with your life and it is causing problems in your relationship, so ultimately you would be right to pursue it all the way if neccesary.
Good luck with it all 🙂
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