New here!
Hi guys,
tried to post a couple of weeks ago but it got flagged as spam and the post disappeared, which is a shame as it was a proper long rant! Ah well, still got it off my chest I suppose.
Anyway, I'll be brief as can be.
Our daughter is 15 months old and my mrs is one of those people who is always overstretching themselves, trying to please everyone but herself.
I can be similar, but I'm also increasingly aware that self preservation and self care are intrinsic to a happy relationship/family unit. We've had a few diary clashes lately and had to divide and conquer. She says she always feels embarrassed if I'm not with her as she has this thing where "I want us to go to things as a family". Sometimes it's just not possible because we have equally important family get togethers etc...
It seems to have become a running theme now that "You always do what you want"... which is really tough because I've suffered severe post-natal depression, mostly due to feeling trapped by having a baby. So, as you can imagine, it doesn't help having her say that all the time when I'm just about getting past my depression.
There's a lot more to this, but thought I'd start with this particular issue as we've literally just had an argument about it. Honestly, I've wanted to walk away so many times and whenever she does this it edges me closer to taking that step out the door...
Anyone else dealt with this?
hi kevin,
it must be tough. you have a young baby so it's a special time. you can compare yourself to me. i was seeing my 6 month old daughter at a coffee shop for 1 hour, every 2 weeks, after marriage broke down and court proceedings. so your in a much better position. don't let that happen to you. be grateful for what you have.
things change a lot once children come along. you should enjoy the family time. you should do things together more, it will make your mrs feel more secure.
you could get in touch with Relate. they offer relationship counselling. could benefit both of you
https://www.relate.org.uk/relationship-help/help-relationships/relationship-counselling
Hey thanks, yeah we're seeing a couples counsellor and my mrs is seeing a therapist too.
I just need to vent. She's done a massive about turn since our baby came along. I commit so much time and energy to them, way more than most guys we know, yet it's still not enough.