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Hi, my new girlfriend is ace, understanding, and knows how bad the last year and a half has been for me.
I seem to be spending the majority of my time discussing the kids and my ongoing residency battles at the moment.
Any suggestions on how I can shut the heck up and stop potentially boring her? I've never been 100% good at romance. I'm a reliable, interesting, hard working, committed person which are qualities she likes, but i'd also like to be a bit more sensitive to her needs.
We cook meals for each other in turn a few nights of the week, there's not much to do in this town and she has early starts but we've been to the theatre etc which has been good. I just feel like I need to make more of an effort to show how much she means to me already!
The first thing that came to mind was one of those cards that have verses for every occasion.
You will find them in most card shops....and they are great when one is stuck for words.
Then...maybe a pampering evening for her, whereby you prepare her a nice bath with candles,
good wine/ or other drink and give her a massage afterwards....and no...I wasn't thinking naughty.
Just a kind of way to let her know that she means a lot to you.
Perhaps breakfast in bed....or you could send some flowers to her work...
Ask her for her favourite film and have a cosy night in...
Good luck Teach
Kirsten
...just take your time with it, you're still getting to know each other.
If you find yourself talking about your current situation with the kids etc., apologise and change the subject! She'll understand how much it is effecting you and will make allowances I'm sure but if you are aware of it then you're half way to stopping yourself from doing it too much.
Check out the "what's on" in the local paper, with Christmas coming there's bound to be stuff you can do together...as Kirsten says all girls love flowers, spontaneous little things have a bigger impact than grand gestures in my opinion.
She understands that you need to talk, but perhaps you set aside a set time every couple of days to discuss it, and then try to avoid it the the rest of the time. However, she probably quite happy that you are sharing it, rather than bottling it up and shutting her out. Best way is to talk to her about her feelings 🙂
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