[Solved] Money issues after birth - strained relationship

My ex & I agreed that she would go back to work after her maternity leave part time. I had worked it out that we needed her to work 10 hours a week to cover bills, food & her debts.
As the end of maternity came closer, she stated that "it's my job to look after our son, it's your job to pay for everything" (including the debts she ran up from before we ever met).
After my 2nd Stroke meant I couldn't improve my wages, she approached her parents to see whether they could help.
2 weeks after her maternity ended, she woke up & told me that she was leaving wit our son & that her brother was on his way to help her move. Within 2 weeks she had started applying for divorce & asking for maintenance - knowing I was still paying all of the bills.

Yep……Similar story here.

We moved to a new bigger house while she was pregnant and before our little one was born….i had a nice decent sized 2 bed semi in a nice area but the house she wanted us to go for was in an idyllic village. We could afford the old house easily on my wages and she’d not need to go back to work unless she wanted to.
She convinced me she’d go back after her leave and that we could afford the idyllic house as with both our wages going in would be comfortable.
She also decided she wasn’t ready to go back to work when her leave ended….she extended her leave and I was forced to start putting petrol on credit card just to get myself to work and back….
This went on for 6mth…I asked about her intentions to go back to work and help us out as I could not support us….she refused to discuss it….and it went on another year….more arguments….she’d not give her car up either not one ounce of compromise from her….
Ultimately I couldn’t afford to keep going and gave her an ultimatum to put the house on the market and move to smaller more affordable place….again no was the loud reply….
Things were getting out of hand in every area of our relationship………money a big factor…….her attitude (PND) towards me and other family members on my side all of who were trying to help us/her…..all to no avail….no compromises…no relationship just dictatorship and control….enough was enough…..i left….no one else involved……I couldn’t live with her anymore.

Dec 2009……best and worst decisions of my life….i do not regret leaving her at all……I regret leaving my son…..but did it for the right reasons so he’d not have to witness us struggle and so I’d get to be more of a father than she was allowing….or so I thought at the time……you’ve read my posts over the last few years...it wasn’t taken lightly….18mth to 2yrs I stood by and let her rip me and my family apart while I 100% believe she was suffering PND.

I wondered what was the real question here when I first saw the headline. We already do all of the money-saving things suggested there (I finally read it!) - we use second hand stuff for our kids (and generally, in fact) as children's things are frankly stupidly expensive in the UK (in many other countries it's better...) - example: kids shoes. Across the road from the high street store selling them for 20 GBP we got an identical pair from a charity shop for 49p...

Anyhow, I empathise with the others on this thread now you mention the question of paying the bills. We have always rented so far, and live in a very small flat at the moment (by most of our friends standards). But in the UK, it really appears almost impossible to live on one wage and raise a family, unless maybe you make this your mission in life (and I know people who do this). You really have to be on board to make a lot of sacrifices. Childcare, for one thing, is insanely expensive, and affordable housing... hmmm...