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The wife has an affair, you find out, guess who the other guy is, get angry, both of you go to Relate where the usual communication is the problem for the last 10 years? You agree to to couples counseling to see what you can find & salvage. You ask her to put the affair aside to work on us. she agrees, he the other party promises to stay away & not make contact even says he hopes you can recover it. U do counseling & its all 'your no good, bad father, [censored] husband so no point in us continuing', you find she is still friends with 'him' on FaceBook & suspect they are still communicating. you ask her & know shes lying. U hack her FB account (not hard!) & find lo & behold deceit lies & manipulation from before & during counseling, how to use Relate to work you out of your family, hes even suggesting 'good' solicitors to get you out of the house, they are manipulating friends to lie for them, they are paranoid about being caught, but chat on FB chat whist your in bed with her or in the same room, they are meeting up when you have been asked to take the kids to something. they are using false identities, etc etc etc & low of the low stuff.
What do you do with this information?
File for divorce?
Squirrel away savings before she does!
my 1st ex (Not my ex with me child) syphoned a little over a grand from our account before she eventually left me for the other guy….very easy for her as I never paid any attention to the finances just saw the bills and said yes or no to stuff….i used to work away a lot back then and she had been playing away with a guy she worked with! Once I found out I changed the locks and told her to collect her things.
Luckily for me we’d not had kids and she never tried to get back in to the house or force entry she just collected her stuff and went…..14yrs I was with her, never suspected a thing until I saw a credit card statement and challenged her aunty about a couple of the late nights and things that didn’t add up!
Not sure of any other answer to be honest….but don’t be a doormat and start records (notes, diary of events) don’t rise to any provocation….if she becomes abusive let it go…or contact the police and have them speak to her about it….don’t let her contact them to claim you’re abusive to her…if she does you’re facing an up hill battle then!
Chopped the joint amex on the day it all went off. Other fiances are secure, been there done that was run for #12k but got it back by deduction form her -1 dues.
Suppose my real question is - the info / evidence - face her with it, ignore it, store it for later or publish it back on FB for all to see?
Diary a good idea & am doing.
Don't use Facebook - it could come back to bite you in the backside. If it goes to court, consider how anything you do would look to a judge - if it looks bad, then seriously reconsider.
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
