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Hi all, i have been with my wife now for 14 years and married for 10 years now. Sadly it looks like our relationship is coming to an end and i may have to move to a rented flat in the very near future. If i didnt have two fantastic kids who i adore this would not be a problem as relationships do breakdown and you have to move on, but i need some advice on what to do.
My children are 9 and 6 years old and will have to stay with my wife as the school is nearby and i want the minimum disruption for them. The house is on a joint mortgage but my wage pays for everything as the wife works part time and earns about £700 per month. I will have to rent a property and although i earn between £45-50k pa i only have a 10k basic and the rest is made up from commision ( i sell cars ).
What are my financial responsibilties to my family and what if i have a bad month and cannot afford to cover both bills. This is a very upsetting time so i would appriciate some advice.
Hey sorry to hear about your situation. Having just come out the other side of mine and my ex's divorce i kind of get your angle.
Your immediate obligation goes towards looking at how much you will contribute to the kids. I suggest using an online child maintenance calculator to work this out as its based on earnings. This is all dependent on whether or not you and your wife can come to an arrangement on this without the need for the CSA to become involved. Remember they are also in place for you as well as your wife so if you have bad month dont worry in contacting them and finding out how much you have to pay
Mortgage wise you are legally tied in and whether or not you are living elsewhere you will still in the eyes of the mortgage company be expected to keep up payments. You can default on the payments but this isnt going to do you any favors later on down the line when it comes to the financial settlement in the divorce. If its a joint mortgage then even though its your wage paying it she will have to start paying her half.
Best bet is to go see a solicitor though and find out where you stand legally rather than what you may read on a forum. That is the starting place. Its not a nice place especially when the wife/ex starts this process off herself but they know the score inside and out. Make it easy on yourself and let them handle things.
As difficult as it may be try to keep things civil throughout for the sake of the kids.
Best of luck with it all.
Thanks for your input. i will speak to a solictor and see where we go from there.
Might sound a bit selfish and not what you want to hear right now, But once you split it'll get in your head for a bit and it does [censored] you off one ofthe ways I dealt with getting a set back etc from the solicitor etc was go for a run or a bit of phys done me great and helped get my head straight and not so worked up.
Plus make time for you to do things ie get the odd night out start open a plenty of fish acct and try as hard as it may seem be a bit positive and have some fun. If your down and negitative the kids will pick up on it and it'll affect them as well.....Chin up
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