Hi, I am looking to adopt my two step-children and after some advice. I have looked at a number of sites, and all give conflicting information, as some sites say that we have to be married in order to adopt, others make no mention of this at all?
We have been together for 3 years now, living together for over 18 months. My partner has two children from a previous relationship, an 8 year old daughter and a 6 year old boy, we also have an 18 month old daughter between us.
The bio-logical father of my step-children has been out of the picture for close to 4 years now, and has made no attempt at contact since.
I know that as it stands I have no legal rights to my step-children, and I would like to change this and make my caring for them 'official', but more importantly to make sure that they have security and stability moving forward!
Has anyone been in this or a similar situation that may be able to offer any advice?
Yes you can but its a up hill struggle. I had been in my step daughters life since she was 6 weeks old and was 13 when I applied for PR and residence due to the mother leaving to live in Spain. Basically it was only after the Father gave permission that the courts finally gave me PR and residence for her at the mothers dismay.
While the father contested at first it was only when he came over and asked his daughter what she wanted and to be fair a reasonable guy. (just got suckered in by the mother) then agreed to what his daughter wanted.
I will say I had a very strong case, step daughter has looked up to me as dad all her life, she had lived in the family home with her younger brother and felt her life has been disrupted enough already without being made to live in a strange home with someone that she really didn't know.
like i said the real father was a decent bloke that put his daughter first.
In my opinion I feel you havn't been around long enough just yet and unless the father agrees could lead to just a massive fight on your hands and for spite come back into the childrens life again, Just a thought ...
It shouldn't be a factor, but it might help - the biological father is liable for child maintenance for his children - if you adopt them, then that liability ceases. It may be a way to persuade him that it's in his interests, as well as that of your step-children to agree to the adoption.
Do you know the whereabouts of the bio father? i think marital status might have a bearing in an informal sense, more as an indicator of stability within the family unit.
The thing about adoption s that for you to become the adoptive father the mother has to relinquish her parental rights... how does she feeel about that?
I think a good compromise would be to apply for Parental Responsibility and once the children are older and their wishes and feelings will be taken account of you could think again about adoption. Just a thought...
All the best