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[Solved] 50 50 shared residence


Posts: 29
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Topic starter
(@lovingdaddy)
Trusted Member
Joined: 13 years ago

hi all

I am going for a 50 50 shared residence order. i would like to know other members experinces of going for 50 50 shared residence. good and bad and if the decidions made were fair.

Just curiuos about the it all and also what arrangments they have.

thanks for any advice in advance

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17 Replies
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(@confuseddad1)
Joined: 12 years ago

Active Member
Posts: 5

Hi there i share your concern and am looking at this possibility also..have you had any responses or since found any more information? If i get any i will pass it on to you as i am concerned my ex is moving 6 hours away and taking my son with her.

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(@lovingdaddy)
Joined: 13 years ago

Trusted Member
Posts: 29

i havent had any responses yet, Its my first post so i not sure i hae put it in the write place, i have self represented so far done quite well so far. do you have a contact order at the moment.

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 actd
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(@dadmod4)
Joined: 15 years ago

Illustrious Member
Posts: 11892

I think the lack of response is more due to the fact that 50/50 split in care seems to be more unusual, so there aren't too many dads on here who can tell you what it's like.

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(@Nannyjane)
Joined: 13 years ago

Illustrious Member
Posts: 5426

Hi there and welcome 🙂

I agree with actd....my son has Residency which is equally unusual! Perhaps you can share your journey of self representing over on the Legal Eagle section. I shall look forward to reading more....

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(@lovingdaddy)
Joined: 13 years ago

Trusted Member
Posts: 29

i hope its not gonna be a up hill struggle then on the final hearing i am working on my submission now hope it will do the job, my kids are 4 and 2 so they are pretty young, i hae decided today thought that whatever i get in a shared residence order then it is a starting point and prob try for more time when they are a little older.

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(@tiredoffighting)
Joined: 14 years ago

Trusted Member
Posts: 46

My partner and his ex have a "shared residency order". Our Barrister has always told us it would never be equal. She also said a court would NEVER grant and order whereby one parents has "full-time" residency as it's gives the parents with the residency "power" over the one without. BUT there are exceptions to the rule. My partner has the majority residency due to mother complete lack of care for herself of her daughter and continued emotional abuse.

We have just "accomplished" a move away. We were bound by restrictions by the court in as much as we could not make the travel time greater for the CHILD (not parent!). That any travelling and cost of travel would have to be split 50/50 (so bear that in mind!!! We got around this by offering to pay for the child's return ticket along with the "adult" that accompanied the child - roughly £30 per month!!!!!!!! But make sure you offer this or they will order you do half the travelling!)

The court will also look at the impact on the CHILD as to the move. Things maybe to look at... What school/nursery is the child destined for? Google ofsted reports, print and take with you.. is it better or worse than where they are? How will along journey for contact effect your SON? Who would be caring for your son? Can the mother afford to goes halves on travel cost? What happens in an emergency? You have a legal right to information about schooling and doctors etc and anything that involves parental responsibility....

Ultimately you cannot stop them.... but you can however throw some bumps in the road. If you show all the research you have on this rather than just saying "I don't want them to move" it shows you care about the child's best interest, not just about point scoring...... Good Luck!

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(@lovingdaddy)
Joined: 13 years ago

Trusted Member
Posts: 29

hi

well a update to this post I managed to get a shared residence order for paractially 3 weekends a month and a split of the holidays

woopee.
:woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :side: :side: :side: :side: :side: 😀

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(@Nannyjane)
Joined: 13 years ago

Illustrious Member
Posts: 5426

Well done lovingdaddy! :cheer:

Shared Residency doesn't mean an equal share of contact, it's more about equalising each parents role....effectively your children have two homes and spend time in both. As they get older let's hope you can both work together in their best interests. Best of luck for the future! 🙂

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 actd
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(@dadmod4)
Joined: 15 years ago

Illustrious Member
Posts: 11892

Excellent news 🙂

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(@lovingdaddy)
Joined: 13 years ago

Trusted Member
Posts: 29

thanks

ive decided to help others through the paperwork so they can get contact

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(@Rugbynut15)
Joined: 12 years ago

New Member
Posts: 1

Hello , I split from my ex in March 2012 . I wanted 50/50 access but in Scotland any child born prior to Jan 2006 the mother has automatic " parental responsibility " in my a joke as my daughter is with me half of the time and the ex the other half but there is no "official" records for me to prove my daughter stays with me half the time ie library , dentist , doctor , schools etc . My ex is is being very well awkward about drop off times .. drops off almost an hour late on most occasions and expects me to jump when its mothers day etc and ive got to do the running about. The ex thinks I should be contributing but we have almost the same take home pay as each other but she get all the child benefit / tax credits . Im getting very pissed off with it all and seriously considering getting a court order to half of the "parental responsibility" as I am getting no credit and the ex can think she can do as she pleases and is above the law .
I hope this gives an insight and maybe get you to tie up loose ends before the agreement is in place .

cheers

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(@tiredoffighting)
Joined: 14 years ago

Trusted Member
Posts: 46

Just a little update from me re: residence. After 5 years of legal wrangle (and approx £50k) my now ex has been granted FULL RESIDENCY of his daughter. HIs ex was "forced" into a corner... the child live with ME or her Dad!..... Ex didn't want her daughter living with me, so in a really perverse way, after 5 years of saying that he was a ar*sehole etc, she says in court that she will only let her daughter live with her Dad!!!!!..... BONZA!!....

It's hoped that now she only sees her mother in controlled circumstances (via social services) that she may be taken off the child protection register......

We have split up..... but we have done what we said we would do and that is live near each other, we live 5 mins away, so that our children by our respective relationships can see each other.

Is there an end in sight?

Keep plugging away peeps, it takes time, money, tears, it takes over your life......

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(@Super Mario)
Joined: 16 years ago

Noble Member
Posts: 1621

So what happens if you don't win - would you get some custody or is it all or nothing?

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(@lovingdaddy)
Joined: 13 years ago

Trusted Member
Posts: 29

I think there is a misunderstanding
I did win joint custody
I got 3 weekends a month and on the forth weekend I get a 3 hours
I get half the bank holidays and fathers day and birthdays

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(@tiredoffighting)
Joined: 14 years ago

Trusted Member
Posts: 46

That is a good "win"! I was just updating my situ as it was about residency!

Well Done! x

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 actd
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(@dadmod4)
Joined: 15 years ago

Illustrious Member
Posts: 11892

hi tof

Glad you came back on here to update us, and just nice to see you on here. Hope you are ok 🙂

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(@lovingdaddy)
Joined: 13 years ago

Trusted Member
Posts: 29

thanks

glad you got residency.

my ex just rang me saying she gonna go back to court too reverse the order some how.

she only had a barrister doing all the talking paid for by legal aid.

a order by consent

so good luck to her

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