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My son recently split from his girlfriend, they didnt live together he is 18 and she is 16, he is a fantastic dad from the day Ellie was born he did everything for her when the mother struggled to bond he took over her needs and this was all mentioned in the hospital notes because they were not going to release Ellie from hospital with her mum until they saw an improvement, her parents pushed for release and they eventually agreed. My son had Ellie on wkends either by himself or with his girlfriend staying and since the split he has only been allowed to see her a few times because his ex is using Ellie to get back at him. We have sorted access twice through family mediation which she has gone back on both times and now have a solicitor involved who has arranged independant mediation, (dont think she will stick to anything from this). If it goes all the way to court does he have any rights to demand to see her because we have been told this could take 6 months and he is heart broken. She is only 6 months old and probably wont even remember him:( or us what do we do? He is on the birth certificate.
He is asking for every other wkend and every tuesday is this reasonable?
Any advise would be great
Hi there welcome to the site,
You son has every right to see Ellie he is her dad, it's a child's right to have contact with both parents.
Mediation can work, though it sounds like it's been tried and failed, things are still quite raw for them though so trying again wouldn't hurt though if an agreement isn't met for your son to see Ellie after the first visit, I think I would start the ball rolling on court, it wouldn't mean he would have to stop mediation but would help things move along.
If some level of contact is aloud at the first mediation I'd stick with it and get the solicitor to write up anything that is agreed into a legally binding document.
If he has to go to court taking a solicitor cane expensive and won't always be of any benefit as if he self represents he will be able to put his own point across and the judge will be able to experience his emotions.
There's. Guide to applying for a contact order and representing yourself at the top of the legal section.
Invite your son to come and post on the forum, lots of us dad's have been through similar and it will help him to be able to talk amongst others who can share personal experiences.
Darren
Thankyou so much i will get him to come on here, i really am shocked at what mothers do and say to stop the dads seeing their children, the children suffer for this as well as the dads.
thanks again
Hi
As Darren said your son has every right to see his daughter we should all be able to see our children. Unfortunatly in my experiance it doesnt always work that way.I see you have a solicitor involved which everybody thinks is the right course of action. When i told my solicitor that i wanted to go to court to gain a contact order to see my son more regularly and for longer, i was advised that my ex would stop the small amount of contact i have with my son untill a court date had been set and yes you are right it can take 6-7 months.I am now going down the self rep route may not get me in court quicker but will help me express in my own words how much i love and care for my son. I can appreciate your son's world is in bit's right now but tell him, just stop for a minute ,let the dust settle (not to much) and try to talk with his ex and sort out contact that way, both parties are really angry and annoyed with each other right now but this will subside.Using the sledgehammer of the court's straight away could make his ex more vengeful.Asking to see Ellie rather than demanding to see her will benefit your son if he should go down the court route.Make a record of everything ,when he asked to see Ellie for how long he saw her and any contributions he makes towards her.Hope this doesn't make you,or your son more peed off . Good luck 🙂
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