[Solved] Access to my kids

Hi Amar,

welcome to the site.

Sorry to hear about your situation you are not alone in this but you can get past it.

If you and your ex are not on speaking terms, I would start by sending her a recorded letter requesting that you attend mediation to try to resolve your differences about seeing your girls, Keep the letter very sivil and proffesional, keeping everything on subject of wanting to see your children, Within the letter you need to ensure you notify her that if agreement can't be met either in or outside of mediation then you will apply to the court for a contact order. Don't use court as a threat, but stress that you want to see your girls and that although court would be a final resort you are prepaired to go to court for access.

You can represent yourself at court and I know of a few solicitor that will actually recomend this if you speak to them, also a few of us on here have self represented too. It seems scary but it isn't as bad as you would think (I speak from experience) Look in the legal section and at the top is a post on how to apply for a contact order (also known as a C100) and there is a guide to representing yourself too.

I would recomend keeping all past and future corrospendence between the 2 of you as these may be needed if you go to court.

I would also recomend that you keep comming back here too as we can support you through the whole proccess by sharing our experiences.

If you stop using your solicitor, we can also offer legal advice too.

Hope all this helps.

Keep us up-dated and if theres anything you would like to ask feel free.

Darren

Thank you very much Darren this piece of advice was very helpful. I spoke to my solicitor they are telling to pay privately then they can advice me what to do or apply for a court order. I also spoke to the mediation service this morning they will arrange for me and my ex to mediate and discuss things. When last time we used mediation it did not work but hey i will go again to see what she come up with. She is playing mind games with me and in that my kids are suffering.

Even if you have tried mediation before and it didn't work, it always helps to try again after some time has passed, it doesn't always work but you never know, but by trying before applying for a court order it will save time during the court proccess as the judge will see it has been tried again but hasn't worked.

You can keep the solicitor working for you, but this would rack up un needed bills, you can represent yourself and there is plenty of experience on here to help you through if you do decide to go it alone.

Keep us posted

Dear Darren,

Any advise how can I get in touch with my daughter it's her birthday on the 21/06/12 and i have not seen her for two month now. She is going to be 3. As I told you that my ex does not answer my call or text and she has stop me accessing my kids. She is actually living at her parents house. Do you think it is a good idea to go round her parent to discuss and see my kids. But I don't know if they will welcome me as I know i might not be welcome there. I also bought some present for my little girl with a card. Please advise me what will be best for me to get access to my girl. I know for sure that I will not see them on father's day but hey I don't want to miss her birthday even for a short time. I missed it last year because of her stupid behaviour.

Happy father's day to all of you and I hope that who have their kids around them will make the most of it.
Not like me where i can't even access my kids, well got mediation next week let hope something will work out.

Hi Amar

I would strongly advise going round to your ex's parents house, it's possible that she will claim harrassment and may call the police )there's a number of dads on here who have unfortunately had this experience) and if you do go to court, then you don't want your ex to be able to use this. Unfortunately, there is only a limited amount you can do until contact is settled properly - I would sugget that you send the present registered post and make sure you keep the receipt/proof of posting, and if the present is returned, keep the evidence of this also - it will be useful as evidence if it goes to court, and later on, you'll be able to prove to your daughter that you tried to send a present.

If you haven't already started to do so, keep a file of all events, conversations, correspondence etc.