[Solved] Additional child access

Hi and welcom,

I'm sure you are feeling worried and stressed,

In my oppinion, I wouldn't think that the court would take your speeding into account whilst looking at access, He may look badly that this was done while your children where in the car but I wouldn't have though that that would sway a decision over contact, I guess it could be possible that he gave some restrictions as to traveling but that will be hard to know until the day.

Do you have a solicitor or are you representing yourself?

Hi Darren

I have to say, I REALLY appreciate you replying,many thanks!!

Tbh,as yet I'm not sure whether to go it alone or use a solicitor,any suggestions?

My concerns are she will be painting the worst picture of me she possibly can! I realise there is a review on parental access within the government. I was going to ask for shared access,I.e week at mine,week at hers but I've then still got a week gap where I don't see them. This way it breaks the time up,I have them 6 nights out of 14. The government is looking at equality for both parents. Her argument,amongst many others, is that it's too unsettling for the children,they are already here on the Wednesday,so it's just staying over, rather than clock watching and rushing so they have their tea. Also, THEY want to see me more. They are saying it's too long a gap when we don't see one another.

They have a good mum,but she has a real issue now I'm with someone else,who btw,my kids ADORE.

Also when I do manage to make telephone contact,she puts this on loud speaker, which makes them very tense and quiet. I bought them a mobile which she has now taken from them.

Do you think what I am asking for is realistic??

Cheers for all replies

What your asking for seems fair, but that doesn't always come into it.

The courts will generally accept that children are accomodating to change and different routines, probably more so than adults, It's good that your children like your new partner, and want to spend more time with you.

Twin girls must be hard work, I don't envy you troubles as they grow up!!!

I would personally represent my self, I say I would I am currently, there is a really good guide to this in the legal section writen by Yoji, representing yourself will allow the judge to see your emotion when you talk, and your remorse when your ex talks about your speeding, if a solicitor does this for you on your behalf it's just words.

There is a good case for taking a solicitor don't get me wrong, and my current partner used one when she went to court, her solicitor managed to sort the whole thing out in the waiting room and then just explained to the judge what the agreement was, But for what you've said If i were you I go it alone and show the judge your there for your children.

I will say that you will need to be prepaired for a long proccess, I've been going over a year now with around 4 visits, also be prepaired for the judge to recomend Mediation for you and your ex as they do like to see if you can sort the problems out between you rather than making an order straight away.

One last point is there is also a program running which is a perant information program which they may ask the 2 of you to attend also, this if free of charge.

Any other questions just ask

Hiya Darren

It's so good to be able to chat about this,this website is fantastic. What concerns me going it alone is that my ex wife works with social services so will tie me in knots when she gets the heads up from her colleagues. The twins are actually boy and girl, they are my world.

I initiated mediation,she also attended separately, and was advised this had now failed. So now it's court, I'm just dreading all the negativity she's going to say about me,if there was any real concerns surely she would have reservations about me having them now. I just want to get clued up and be prepared at court, know what to expect and not fall to pieces,basically not show how much they mean to me, can u recommend any sites/pages?
I have an extra bond with my kids,they were13 weeks prem,things were touch and go, when they were 4months old I had to give my girl mouth to mouth as she stopped breathing.

I'm just zoo nervous, I want to go to court but at the same time I'm absolutely dreading it.

You are a big help darren

Being stressed is normal, I know for the week leading up to court I don't sleep, my girlfriend and my step son go through [censored] because of it.

if you go it alone we have a legal team that can advise on any legal issues or direct question you may have and they will drop by when asked to advise, I can arrange this for you if you have any direct questions or concerns, we also have a other services that can advise on social services ect too.

I would have a read through Yoji's post regarding going to court as that has some great advice.

and use this site as much as possible, there are plenty of other people on here who are going through or have been through the same so there's lots of advice availible.

I would say don't be to proud to show what your children mean to you, like I said the judge will see your emotion and will be able to see that you care and love your children and just want to spend time with them.

having to give mouth to mouth must have been scary, no wonder you have a good bond.

make sure you have everything written down that you want to discuss and tick it off as you go that way you will be able to stay in control of what you want, and don't allow your ex to frustrate you, easier said then done I know, but stay calm and take a deep breath before answering anything she has said, allow her to always finnish and don't interupt her.

What do you do as a job?

Hi Welshred
You are in the right place for support,advice and an ear to bend.
I'm in the process of self-representation or pip's re extending contact and wished I'd took this route first time round instead of using solicitors.
So personally I'd say go down this route and yes its nerve racking and your guts churn but its not as bad as it seems when you get there. Iv always found the anticipation of going to court worse than the actual event but that's just my nerves.
I'm at work at the moment so can't chat but if there is anything you want to ask fire away and I hopefully can give you an idea of how it works.
As for the mud slinging you expect the ex to be doing put that to one side as that is usually all that it is mud slinging, yes have a defence ready but concentrate on your twins relationship with you.
I hope everyone here can give you some peace of mind ,I know personally I have experienced a tough time over contact with my daughter but it has only made us both stronger even during the long periods of not seeing each other, she was 6 at the time but now is 12 and we are very close even tho my ex would like to disrupt that I try not to pull her mum down for it .
You sound like you are doing great so far anyway.
I will keep looking for your posts

Kind regards DAG

I can't get over how good this website is,it's priceless.

When you say legal team will drop by and advise, can you explain a bit more please? That sounds good to me,basically I'm willing to do all I can to get prepared for this,any discussions,researching etc. I would like this arranged please Darren.

I wii definitely look through Yojis post re: going to court.

I wear my heart on my sleeve so will probably fall to pieces,but I'm definitely not too proud to do this.
You will never know how much I appreciate your advice,and for what it's worth I think it's been brilliant, I will definitely make a list and tick it off as I go along, going to be so organised. I already know I'm not getting into a slanting match,don't think that will impress any judge.

Btw, I'm a handyman,but just about to set up my own business.how about you?

I've then got to sort out financial settlement,the fun never stops!!

No your right it never does!!!

I've just had a message from my other half to say that I have a letter from the court for my next and i'm hopeful last attendance, we have had so many between us we even recognise them from the envelope LOL

What advice would you like from the legal team, if you could list this out I will ask them to drop by the forum and answer anything you have, and see what help they can offer.

I'm the same as you and I think most dad's are regarding the heart on the sleeve when it comes to your children it's hard not too.

As Dag say's though the lead up to court is worse than the actual court attendance, the judges are used to people representing themselves, a peice of advise given on this site before, i forget who gave it, is to have a chat with the stewards when you check in at court,a nd they will advise on how to address the judge and how to conduct yourself when you are in the court room, I always wear a suit (though not always a tie) as this gives a good impression and show's your are tacking it seriously. Though on one visit to court I did laugh as a chap had arrived in a suit, clearly his best on he had, it was made by Adidas!!!!! and he had matching trainers Lol

I used to run my own business, as a car valeter, best advice I can give on that is that unless you know the taxation system inside out get an accountant to do your returns, what you pay in fees, they will save you in tax!!!

I work For Audi as a service advisor, so sit at a desk all day looking at expensive cars 😀

Guilty as charged with regards to the Heart on sleve :whistle:
Darren it sounds like a mirror image of our house when the post man delivers 😀
Ho and I work in one of the two eventuality's in life.
😉

Huge thanks to both of you,i will definitely be back in touch after the weekend, got kids yay!!!!
Will have a good think about concerns,or questions I may have, thanks again lads for your responses.

You made me laugh about the Adidas suit.

Audi,eh? Nice, I'm after a q7,any cheapies ?? Lol.

Glad to know things are working out better with you dag,will definitely be in touch soon.

Thanks again

Have a good weekend its my long weekend too., hoping for some dry weather

No problem, have a great weekend with the twins.

As for a Q7 your a brave man to take on the running cost, at around £1100-£1200 for a set of tyres that last around 8-10k miles it's not a car I would look at to be fair, but then each to there own and all that.

What part of the country are you in?

Hi

The admin worker at the court have advised me to go and see citizens advice bureau regarding additional access. Do you know if these can be useful?

Also I want to be as fully prepared as possible as I'm in court on 30th may, starting to get really nervous now,can you give me any advice on what to expect?

If you read our previous posts, do you think what I'm asking for is reasonable, and will the judge 'knock me down' and not give me what I have asked for? Maybe give me a little more but not what I've actually asked for? I feel im not being unreasonable, I just want what's fair, in your experience do you think this is realistic.

Lastly, will the court speak to my kids, eight years old, as they want more time with me.

As always appreciate any advice!!!

I would go for as much as possible, as long as what you are asking for is not unreasonable - generally, I don't think a court was give you more than you ask for, so if you go for the maximum reasonable, you may just get it, or they may give you a little less, but that might still be more than you were originally expecting.

The court may ask Cafcass to speak to your kids, and I would ask the court if they can do so, so that your children do get a voice - the court won't necessarily do what the children are asking, but it will be taken into account.

I was going to go for equal access, have one week at mine, and then a week with their mum but a week without them is way too long, so I think this is more balanced, basically it's 6nights out of 14.

Can u plz explain the court scenario, I really don't know what to expect.

What usually happens with school Hols,christmas,bdays etc.

Any tips on what to say?

Thanks again

I can't help too much with what to say as I went down the route with a lawyers (which was very, very expensive), the other guys on here are probably better placed to help you out with what to say, but if you have any specific questions (and I assume you have read yoji's guide to representing yourself, as Darren suggested), we can ask the experts from the CCLC to give advice.

One thing I would consider (and only you can answer this) are what the practicalities of 6 days out of 14 in respect of school, access to friends etc, bearing in mind that your ex may well be arguing the other way. If you can show the court that you have considered all of this, and that you consider that this arrangement will be beneficial to your children, then what you are asking is perfectly reasonable.

I have them now on a Wednesday 3-30-7pm, by the time they have their tea it's time for them to go home. If they stay overbite I have no problems taking them to school as I work flexible hours. Also I have purposely bought a house near to them.

There is also a full week where I don't see them. So I want alternate Monday's to break this up.

My daughter actually asked to reverse the roles last week and live with me.

Feel like all that will happen in court will be her slating me

Hi,

with regards as to what to say in court, that will depend on you, but be polite and keep calm the whole time, the courts are used to mud slinging and they are wise to it so I wouldn't worry unless she can back up her claims then I wouldn't be worried.

Like I said have a chat when you check in at court and they will be able to tell you how to address the judge and carry yourself in the court room, where to sit ect.

My advice as before is write everything down in bullet point and the carry on with further detial to ensure you get every thing covered, allow your ex to talk don't talk over her, but respond when ask's, take a deep breath at anything she says that wind's you up.

The judge and caffcas will probably be present as it's the first hearing and it's possible that caffcas will have a chat with you both, they can talk to the children if they feel it will help.

I'll be honest and say that I wouldn't expect this to all be dealt with within one visit to court, I would expect that the judge would suggest mediation, and a perant info course as these seem very common place from mine (and my partners) experience and what I've seen here too, so be ready for that. It can all be very frustrating and drawn out but the end result will hopefully be a better level of contact for you and you children.

I'm back Wednesday next week and the sleepness nights have started already so I know how you feel, Mine is going for the final visit (I hope) and i've been going nearly a year now, and at the start all I was asking for was unrestricted access as my ex wouldn't allow me to take my son without prior notice of where we were going and what we would be doing. going through court has given me much better time with my son and we are much more relaxed when he is with me, I just need a solid court order in place as my ex keeps trying to change things that we had agreed in Mediation.

Darren

Hi Darren

This is the first visit to court but as previously stated I do have access now,every we'd evening and every other w.end, I'm just after more time.

I have already tried mediation which failed, so do you think this might speed things up?

Do you think I should ask for more than is realistic with the view of not getting quite as much as you ask for, or, as I feel, just try and be fair?

I really hope everything goes well for you in next Wednesday's hearing, I genuinely do.

Do you know of any news on the governments plans to review the family judicial review, looking at shared/equal access.

As always thanks for your replies,helps to chat doesn't it!!

Do you know of any news on the governments plans to review the family judicial review, looking at shared/equal access.

Doesn't look like anything is going to change soon........

How soon after separating did you attend mediation? I too had attended and it had failed to get anywhere but it soon after I had left, so it was advised we go back as things wouldn't be so "raw"

I'd be as you are going in being fair but firm on what you want to achieve if you try to ask for too much or what may not be seen as fair then it could work against you, this is only my view but I just feel that the judges have seen every trick going so be straight with then and hopefully they will see that.

Thanks for the support I'm hopeful it goes well too, all I'm asking for is every other weekend and some additional time in school holidays and for there to be no restriction on what I do or where we go.

Mediation was about a year after we had separated. Basically she just wouldn't budge on me having additional access.

How does the 3 days one week, and 4 days a week contact work?

Also what is 'the norm' regarding school Hols etc.

I wouldn't be surprised if the judge recommended mediation, as a start point they seem to like to try to get the agreement made without having to force it as in the long run that can make things worse.

As far as the norm, I guess there is no norm where children are concerned each judge will think and react differently, I've had 3 different judges and each one seemed different. The one thing they will all agree on is that the whole process is about the children and what's best for them.

Hi Welshred
Hope you and your family are well.

Firstly to Darren good luck for today I hope all goes smoothly.

Hi again Welshred
for my initial appearance I did a short opening statement requesting the courts assistance in reaching an agreement regarding existing contact being extended. I pointed to the benefits to our child of the loving relationship she already shared with both of us and how an extension to our contact would only strengthen that loving relationship, now and in the future with both parents having a share in it.
It is a very personal thing so only you can really put into words what you feel as Darren said earlier. Try not to attack your ex but show the court how reasonable you have been in wanting to come to a fair agreement about contact. Explain while every contact has been ALLOWED to take place you have never missed contact with your children.
Make copies for all parties court/Cafcass etc .
I prepared a proposal for what I would like as extended contact and in addition wrote down in real terms how it compared to the contact we had at present, I did this because I knew the other side would say what I was asking for was unacceptable and to much, but it proved what I was asking for was reasonable as they could compare it in black and white.
Have evidence if you have it diaries/dates, txt transcripts, letters etc. (Duplicate)
If you don't understand something that is said dont be afraid to ask for it explained, or to ask for a little time to digest what's been said.
Take your time,
Also ask before proceedings if you can have someone present under the Mckenzie rule as a second pair of ears.
This certainly helpsvwhen you coke out as you may miss some points that may have been brought up.

I will come back later to give you at bit more . 🙂

Firstly to Darren good luck for today I hope all goes smoothly.

Thanks for that, it's next Wednesday 16th, want it over quickly as the lack of sleep isn't great.......however I have endless supply of espresso on tap!!!!! :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo:

I agree whit what DAG has said,

I was thinking about this last night and I also think it would be worth writing down all the logistics around your proposal covering things like, travel, school drop off/collection, food, home work (if any), your working hours plus any other relevant things that show you have really given everything consideration. Don't dress it up though if something will be difficult say it will be this will show you are also being realistic about how things will be.

I like DAGS sugestion of giving a proposal and handing it out in the court room as it show's you have really thought through what you are asking for,

Sorry Darren I read it as today :whistle:

I know how you feel, do you go over every scenario in your head?! Driving yourself cockoo :huh:
Like you and probably our partners alike they are the same not sleeping before court, you seem just about leveled out in between appearances then the old stomach churning starts and the crazy nervous laughter ;;) whoooooo! Because you can't believe you are still battling away just to see your kids (or is that just me!!! Please agree) :whistle:

Oopps don't know why I posted this twice Doh!

Posted what twice :whistle: :whistle:

Hhhmmmm I'm using a Smart phone , , , and its Smarter than me!!!, Its not that hard really.
I thought I'd posted my last post twice. Sorry oops again.
Just ignore me

You did mate I removed the extra one sorry 😉

I know this is being on the negative side, and I apologise for this, but can you tell me what happens if judge refuses to give me additional access, deep down I don't think he will, but I'm just wondering what next steps may be.

Once again sorry for this but starting to get really nervous now

Cheers lads

*don't think he will refuse-but of course doesn't stop me worrying!!!!

Hello,

This is really difficult to comment on as I feel the same as you do and have at every visit, and even though I know deep down that all should go ok, that little niggling doubt comes in and you are left worrying.

I'd say not to worry and just see what happens but again I know that this just isn't possible as your mind goes through every single eventuality and alsways comes down on the less possitive side.

All I can say is that so far each judge I have seen has been fair and looked at both sides of the story, they have asked us to attend mediation and a peranting class, and have guided us through different options. I have had them step in twice and enforce different terms in my favour. So i'm putting my faith in the system and hope it goes well.

All that said it doesn't help me sleep at night, so I feel your pain!!!!!

Cheers Darren, and again I really do wish you the very best of luck for next Wednesday.

What I mean by my post is, can I appeal, or does it stop there, if I don't get the positive outcome I expect I'm not giving up, this is something I intend to pursue til the end.

As with any court case i'm sure there would be an appeal system in place, though hopefully you won't need to use it.

You seem very straight on what you want and as said as long as you stay level headed and go in with everything written down as to what you are looking for and the logistic of it all I'm sure it will go well.

Don't be surprised though if it isn't all done in one hearing as from what I've seen this is very rare and the judge will look firstly for the 2 of you to at least try to make an agreement between you, this isn't always the case and I'm sure Yoji has commented to this effect before.

Darren

Hi

Haven't been on here for a week as for some reason i couldnt sign in.

Darren, if u are reading this, congrats with how it went at the courts! I'm well pleased for you, again I had all intentions of wishing you well, but again couldn't sign in.

I'm in court next week, and I'm absolutely bricking it, can I ask who gets to speak first, my ex or me?

Also I know this is all so very personal to us but would be very grateful if you can give me any tips/advice on what to say.

From a very very nervy dad!!!!'

Hi Mate thanks for your comments.

I'm at work at the moment and its the busy end of the day, I will try and log in later at home and answer, if not first thing in the morning.

Darren

Hi Welshred,

As far as I can remember I have always spoken first, but I'm not sure if this was through invite from the judge or just because I did if that makes sense.

What to say is difficult as it's your case and your story, but just speak from the heart and lay out what you would like, be respectful of the judge and your ex, and be as organised as possible with your notes.

which day are you in court?

Hi Welshred

I know how you are feeling I'm back in court in a fortnight.
As Darren said above every situation is personal.
In my case before going in I met with Cafcass officer first, we spoke about what I was asking for and what I thought about their report. Then they spoke to the ex. We went in before the judge and the judge first asked the Cafcass officer if their were any issues. They then put across their position (wether or not they need be involved that's if you have had Cafcass look into your application).
Then the judge asked other party if they were aware of the reason for the application.
Then I was asked for my reasons and what were my proposals for the application.

Everyone would be different but basically it put in my opening statement

I am seeking to vary and extend the current contact in place. I would like to ask the court to assist me in doing so.

(Children's names) have a loving relationship with both mum and me, and it is our role to encourage this. As (children's names) grow emotionally physical and mentally in to young adults their relationship with both mum and dad is vitally important.

I feel for (children's names) an extension to the quality time we already share will be beneficial for us all and will only strengthen the relationship our children share with both mum and dad.
I am here as a last resort to ask the court to assist in the above as my attempts to reach agreements with (children's mum) out of court have failed.

Then you could hand out your proposal.
I hope this might help you a little. I'm at work so can't really go into it any further but you get the gist of it, its personal to your situation.
So that's how I approached it.
😉

Hi Welshred

I know how you are feeling I'm back in court in a fortnight.
As Darren said above every situation is personal.
In my case before going in I met with Cafcass officer first, we spoke about what I was asking for and what I thought about their report. Then they spoke to the ex. We went in before the judge and the judge first asked the Cafcass officer if their were any issues. They then put across their position (wether or not they need be involved that's if you have had Cafcass look into your application).
Then the judge asked other party if they were aware of the reason for the application.
Then I was asked for my reasons and what were my proposals for the application.

Everyone would be different but basically it put in my opening statement

I am seeking to vary and extend the current contact in place. I would like to ask the court to assist me in doing so.

(Children's names) have a loving relationship with both mum and me, and it is our role to encourage this. As (children's names) grow emotionally physical and mentally in to young adults their relationship with both mum and dad is vitally important.

I feel for (children's names) an extension to the quality time we already share will be beneficial for us all and will only strengthen the relationship our children share with both mum and dad.
I am here as a last resort to ask the court to assist in the above as my attempts to reach agreements with (children's mum) out of court have failed.

Then you could hand out your proposal.
I hope this might help you a little. I'm at work so can't really go into it any further but you get the gist of it, its personal to your situation.
So that's how I approached it.
😉

This is similar to how my first appearence went, I decided to go a lot less formal in my adress of the issues and just speak from the heart, I like the way you laid it all out though and if your exceptionally nervous about addressing the judge in the court room then having this well prepaired verse would help and stop you getting flustered.

Hi Darren

Yes I just opened with the above statement to set the scene then expanded on a personal level as the proceedings went on. Because of the complexity of the order I was asking to vary I kept it simple in the first instance so as not to over load the magistrates.
But definitely get your point across as you say from your own personal experience that's important, emphasis your loving relationship that you already have with your children.
Don't attack your ex but have a defense in place to counter any unreasonable statements they may throw in at anytime.
Take your time if you need to compose yourself to give a reply.

Don't attack your ex but have a defense in place to counter any unreasonable statements they may throw in at anytime.
Take your time if you need to compose yourself to give a reply.

This is a really good point, and something I had forgotten to mention, I did this at my last visit as I knew how much of a fight my ex would put up.

I had every point I wanted to make typed out, then underneath each item I had bullet pointed everything I expected my ex to come out with, with my answer ready. I didn't need to use much of these to be fair but it was a comfort to know I had it ready.

Hi lads

In court in the morning,god, the nerves are kicking in!!

Just a final question, will I get to say my point of view first? Or will the ex get to say hers first?

Also how many ppl exactly are in the court room?

I need this to be good, I really do!!!

Also as previously stated my ex knew I got caught speeding excessively, would you bring this up, before she gets her two penny's worth, with cafcass/judge ??

Hi Welshred

GOD LUCK for today hope it all goes well, make sure you log on later and let us know how it goes.

I think it's different in each court room, but I would think that as you have taken the matter to court then you would get to say why amd what you think and feel, else there is nothing for your ex to respond to.

As for the speeding, this is going to have to be your call, though my view is that this is something your ex will clearly use against you so it "may" be worth bringing it up yourself. I wouldn't try and justify the speeding though but make sure you show you are regretful and have learnt a lesson from it so it won't happen again.

I would assume your ex has been allowing you to have your children since the speeding and for them to travel in the car with you, so I would ensure you mention that your ex can't be overly worried about it or she would have stopped you from taking them in the car instantly and not waited until a court case over additional access to bring it up.

Again good luck hope it goes well,

Darren

Good morning Welshred

Good luck for today, I think Darren and I know how your feeling.
You will do great just try to relax as hard as it is, and take your time.
Let us know how you get on, once its all sunk in and you can gather your thoughts.
DAG 🙂

Hi Dag, Darren!

Well I survived lol! Is it nice? No, but like you both said its not quite as bad as you fear.
I think it's just fear of the unknown.

Anyway, I have been recommended to attend a pips meeting, so lads, you were both pretty much spot on.think I will get what I am asking for, it's just gonna take time!

Got to go back in 5 weeks,cafcass officer said what I was asking for was reasonable,,my ex wouldn't of liked that but wouldn't bend,said about kids routine, didn't mention the driving but I did, shows I got nothing to hide and I haven't.

One thing I did get today was all holidays to be shared.

The two of you, and yoji's advice have been better than any solicitor and saying thank you to you and this site, just doesn't cut it.

Thank you boys for helping me prepare, you have been absolutely fantastic.

I will keep you informed,and maybe even soon, once this has all settled,have a bit of banter,add a few jokes, and advise you on THE great football club in the premiership,lol.

Cheers!!!!!!!!

:woohoo:

You updated us sooner than i would have thought!! 😮

It takes me about 3 days to get over the "Court Lag" as we now term it in our house 😆

Well its a result just for you to feel like its moving in the right direction.

As for helping you, all i've done is shared my experience and struggles as a dad trying to have normal contact and a relationship with my daughter without ridiculess condition attached. :pinch:

You have done all the hard work and You should be extremely proud of that, as im sure your twins will be as they grow up and see how much their dad loves them. You have been honest and put your children first.

I'm at a similar stage to you with regards to getting additional contact.
I have had the directions hearing, i attended the PIPs program about a month ago, which i have to say was really good (read my post about it in legal eagle) and it does makes you think. (unless you are unreasonable beyond belief and think nothing ever applies to you and you need to be constantly reminding people YOU ARE IN CONTROL!!! 👿 if you catch my drift 😀 )

The fact you are back in 5 weeks is good too, it means its moving. (i have had to wait for over two months for my next court date, im due back at court in 2 weeks). And im sure you will get all you have reasonably requested, as thats all it boils down too, being reasonable.

And you have the kids holidays sorted at the first hearing! Thats fantastic!!!! (do you want to come and represent me?! :silly: )

And your right what you said earlier "We Survive it" "Its Not Nice" "But its Not quite as Bad as we Fear" :woohoo:
(who you kidding :boohoo: :whistle: :huh: :woohoo: :p :silly: :side: :sick: 😮 🙁 :pinch: :dry: :cheer: :} ;;) 😡 😀 😆 )

Well i hope you and your family can relax for a bit and enjoy the bank holiday, kind regards to you and your family Talk again soon DAG 😉

.....and saying thank you to you and this site, just doesn't cut it.....

Actually, it does 🙂 🙂 🙂

Glad it went well for you - and of course not only are you moving towards where you want to be, but you will also be much less fearful of the next court appearance.

Awww thanks all!!

Tbh I think I'm just running on adrenalin, got myself soooo worked up, have to say when I went into the courtroom, really felt the magistrates/judge had soooo much power, little bit frightening!

'court lag', good term, I know EXACTLY what you mean?! I came home, and not like me, just had a lie on my bed,incredibly drained!

Make me laugh dag,'come and represent you'! U sound switched on mate and I'm sure YOU will be fine, as long as we all help each other.

I'm away this weekend,Amsterdam, and boy am I gonna enjoy it, have a nice Whitsun break all, enjoy yourselves.

P.s will chat soon, seems to me theres some great people on here, ever organise a meeting, get together and a laugh?!

Ty for your comments,do I feel proud? Yes and no, yes because I know I'm a [censored] good dad, no because of what I've put them through.

Thanks for the heads up with the pips, I'm sure I will be in touch before then

Enjoy your weekend you deserve it!!

Glad it went well, as for laying on the bed I did the same when I got home after court I was wrecked and just wanted to sleep.

Glad it went well, and your feeling more positive around where it's going.

As actd has said saying thank's goes a long way, and when all of this is over for you, hopefully you will stick around and share your experience with others as we have with you, and it will be others offering you the thanks.

Darren