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Hi everyone
New boy here, so thought I'd introduce myself.
I'm Alex, 39, I have 2 Daughters 12 & 15 who live with their Mum 150 miles away. We divorced in 2003 and have both remarried in the last 2 years.
After we separated we both lived in the same town until 2 years ago. I had good access to my Daughters, they were allowed to stay over at weekends, come round for tea after school and generally spend a lot of time with me.
Since my ex wife remarried and moved away I've been allowed to travel up to visit them for a day once a month. We meet in town and although they have moved house 3 times since being there I have never been told any of their addresses. I would probably be allowed to go up and visit more than once a month, but as it costs me at least £150 a time I sadly can't afford it.
Both my Daughters want to be able to come down and visit, including sleeping over. My new wife is someone they have known for 10 or 11 years and they get on with her very well. The girls also now have a 2 year old half Brother and another on the way. Sadly they don't get to see the 2 year old very often as the trip up to see them and back in a day is usually too much for a child of that age.
I have recently requested they come to stay with us for a couple of days in October half term, and again for a couple of days over Christmas but have been flatly refused. Their Mum and Step-dad just will not talk to me about it!
What can I do? Where do I stand legally, particularly as they both express a wish to do so? I really don't want to take on a legal battle if possible. Any advice is gratefully recieved
Hi there
Welcome to Dadtalk
It is a tricky situation and one you try to avoid involving lawyers etc as you said it will cost you money and lots of it and will also put a wedge between you and your ex.
Have you thought about some compromise - take the kids away for one night to the seaside, camping or something. It may be that mum is afraid of saying yes at the moment but try to sell it to her - could you babysit them so that she could go away or even go out for the day.
Have you spoken to her partner - is he the one blocking the idea?
Good luck and let us know what happens
Thanks for the reply Super Mario.
When my ex married and moved away she made the decision to have no further contact of any sort with me, any arrangements to visit my Daughters are to be made through the step-dad. I have a mobile number for him, and no contact number for her. It is definitely her that is holding the reigns on this one though.
Sadly I can't really babysit as A: they live 150 miles away, and B: They refuse to even tell me where they live.
I live at the Seaside, that's where my Daughters grew up and they love it. But there is unfortunately no compromise as far as the ex is concerned. If my Daughters mention wanting to come and visit, and I dare to reply to their questions, I'm accused of plotting behind my ex's back! 😮 (
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