[Solved] Better late than never ...

I've posted 2 or 3 times and thought it might be an idea to introduce myself. I've come late to this forum, I would have found it invaluable in the early days.

I separated from my "soon-to-be-but-not-soon-enough"-ex in August when she took my two girls away on holiday without me the day before we were scheduled to leave. We'd had a row, which with hindsight I see as being orchestrated by her, and she used this row as justification for her leaving without me. I subsequently found out that she had already had legal advice and had said to people that she didn't want to go on holiday with me, so I'm pretty convinced that she had it planned all along.

I was absolutely devastated when she took my girls away. I am very close to them and have very strong relationships with both of them, mostly because I'ma very hands on dad but also because I've always worked from home, and for the past couple of years, not worked much at all for various reasons so I've been there with the family. I do not know of any couple who spent more time with their children than we did.

When she came back from holiday, she told me that she wanted a divorce and refused to talk about anything, her response to me was always "talk to your solicitor."

Since the separation I've been constantly and falsely accused of domestic violence - thankfully nothing physical or sexual - just emotional, being angry and aggressive etc. She demanded that I leave the family home which, as all the advice I'd heard was clear to not move out, I refused to do. She then took the kids moved out of the house into her parents. She's used the allegation of DV to justify a non-molestation order and an occupation order to force me out of the house. I have ADD and she said, completely without foundation, that this meant that I was incapable of looking after my girls. Because of this, my solicitors advised that no judge would find in my favour over my occupation order without a psychological report (costing £4,000, split between us). Bad luck (a free date in the judges diary much earlier than would normally be expected) and dirty tricks on her side (persistently objecting to any psychologist we proposed) meant that we had our hearing before any report could be done. I subsequently had to concede the occupation order if she dropped the non-molestation order, which she did. Despite this, I was order to pay her barrister's & a couple of hours solicitor's costs - best part of £2,000.

I was given 3 weeks to move out and find somewhere to live. I was homeless for a week (not on the street, but worrying enough all the same, just before Xmas rental properties were drying up.) The psychologist did his report which came back glowingly in my favour.

I've had regular contact with my girls, but she's controlled the when and how long for since the start, and for a time that all contact had to be supervised. She's refused to let my girls stay over night with me, and even now is only proposing one night a fortnight.

Throughout this, I have remained calm and as reasonable as I can. Things moved a little in my last week when in a review hearing, it was agreed that we didn't need a CAFCASS report (my psychologist report top trumps CAFCASS) and that our scheduled interim hearing should actually be a final hearing, thus shortening the timeframe but at least 3 months.

So, to here and now. I've got my final hearing tomorrow. I'm seeking shared care, and shared residency on a 50:50 split. She's wanting sole residency, sole parental responsibility and minimal contact. My legal fees are about £20-25,000 to date, hers are about the same, if not more. None of that matters though, all that matters is the decision of the judge tomorrow.