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My first go at this......
I'll try and keep this as brief as possible, in a nut shell i am fighting for access and currently see my kids through a contact centre which my solicitor recommended give the fact that the ex has stated that i am not capable of looking after them all together at once, they are 4, 2 and 1 years old. The contact centre have provided a gleaming report which answers any questions the court might have when we return in July.
My issue is with the new partner my ex is seeing, he has been on the scene since i left turnuing up at the house within the first month. I left in Oct 2010 and he was around by Nov, he takes the kids out on his own which is upsetting me so much i'm finding it very hard to cope. I don't even know the guys name or if he is ok been around them, I don't have an issue with guy seeing the ex he's welcome to her but i take issue with him seeing and been around my kids so much, it is clear that she is trying to alienate the children from me again this hurts deeply.
Can anyone give me some advise on what action i could take, to put at least a temporary stop to him been with my kids in the family home.
Br
danny
Hi Danny
Thanks for your post and welcome to Dadtalk.
I'm really sorry to hear about this situation and I can only imagine how distressing it must be for you to know that your ex's new partner is taking your children out on his own when your ex stated that you were incapable of looking after them all together at once.
As a general rule, when a child is with each parent it is for that parent to decide who a child can see and what they do, and the other parent will not have a say in this. Unless you have good reason, such as him being violent, abusive or is threatening towards your ex or your children, then this is something you would need to bring up with the court and contact police and social services about.
I can see how much this hurts you but at least you are seeing your kids and are clearly a brilliant dad as you have had a gleaming report from the centre. This surely will go in your favour as you fight for access. Keep going and let us know how you get on.
All the best.
just a few comments from me: I know it's slightly different, but....
My ex has been a nightmare towards my new partner. Insinuating all sorts, constantly texting, commenting, sl*gging off her off. My parter is amazing to my daughter. she is a far better role model to my daughter, she teaches my daughter stuff, listens and comforts her. My daughter has become very fond of my partner. This drives the ex MENTAL as she thinks my partner is trying to be replace her as a mum. My daughter and my partner know each other well enough to know that this is not the case. My ex constantly belittles my partner infront of the child....My partner never sl%ags my ex off in front of my daughter, she promotes relations between my daughter and ex. She deserves a blo%dy medal for putting up with all this!!!!!!
My point?.. Please don't judge the "new partner". He might be amazing. If your ex is a nightmare, that doesn't mean that the new partner shames the same views on the situation. Can you not get to know him... even a little bit to work him out? If he is living with your kids does he not have to be CRB checked. My partner was (but that might be slightly diffrent situation)
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
