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Hello to all, I'm new to this forum and joined in the hope of gaining some advice and guidance?
Basically, I've been through the rigmerole of the family courts for the past few years in relation to my son who is now 7.
I have a contact order in place which includes contact with him every alternate weekends and midweek contact, as well as, a week in X-mas, easter and 2 in summer hols for a week at a time.
Recently the ex denied me my second week of contact during summer hols (and has not infomed me as to why) and this is further to an obstruction of contact earlier this year where our weekly contact was blocked. Unfortunately, this seems to happen every year.
Anyhow, was thinking of taking this matter to the courts but would have liked additional contact with son for half of his hols i.e. term time etc but am now torn between whether to refer this back to courts for an enforcement of an order or for additional conatct and a defined order?
Some people close to me have said that I should keep things simple and enforce the order, but having read up on this, this seems to be a waste of time as I'm required to have a very strong paper trail which I don't possess, and would be lucky if the judge did anything about this (they haven't in the past). I've also been informed that if I go in asking for more contact and a defined order then the message of her obstructing contact and brecahing orders may get lost and the judge may define order and possibly increase conatct but I will still have the same problem of here brecahing orders at will.
Really don't know what to do. The people I have spoken to haven't been through this system and are offering their views on what may heppen but really wanted to get an isight from others who may be or have expereinced what I'm currently going through and how I should approach this?
My thoughts would be that you go back for a variation for increased contact (try mediation on this first) and don't mention the blocked contact in your order - but you could possibly 'throw it in' during the proceedings. Start keeping a precise diary now of what goes on, so you have the records in future - hopefully you'll only be missing a week or so if she blocks contact, but you'll have more contact overall if you succeed.
Dear Iron Man
A Contact Order is legally binding and as such the resident parent should not be breaching this. Whilst it is frustrating to have to take the matter back to Court for enforcement, should your ex partner continue to prevent contact at will it would be best to keep a record of this and take this back to Court for enforcement.
It would be worthwhile inviting your ex partner to attend mediation to discuss this further. The involvement of a third party when discussing contact can help to take the tension out of the situation and reach agreement without the need to take the matter back to Court. It is important that your ex partner understands that she cannot simply choose when she complies with the Contact Order and mediation would be a good opportunity to raise your unhappiness with the current situation. Increased contact could also be discussed at this point.
Where parents can agree between themselves how contact is to take place, there is no need to take the Contact Order back to Court for variation, the contact can simply be agreed between parents. However if your ex partner will not agree to the changes that you are requesting it will be necessary to apply to Court for variation. A court hearing dealing with an application for enforcement of an existing order will not deal with your request for additional contact; it will simply deal with enforcement.
It would be advisable for you to seek the assistance of a family solicitor in this matter. Often a letter from a solicitor reminding a parent of the legally binding nature of a Contact Order leads the resident parent to comply with the Contact Order. It would also be worth raising your request for additional contact through the solicitor as it may be possible to resolve this without the need for further applications to Court.
We hope this information has been of use to you and wish you well as you take this matter forward.
Yours faithfully
The Children’s Legal Centre
That sounds tough mate. As someone with no real expertise in this area, I just want you to know that you are not alone and our thoughts are with you. Keep us updated.
Hi All,
Many apologies for not getting back earlier, I've only just come back and checked this site as I thought no one had responded to my message. I've just tweaked notifications now so that hopefully, this will not happen again and thank you all for your advice.
In the end, I decided to apply for a shared residence order with increased contact and raised the issue of breaches in the court with the judge...who as expected didn't do much about it. I felt this way, I could send a message to the ex that she wasn't superior in anyway and possibly may incline courts to do something about breaches in the future and once we both had shared residence.
In the courts the ex, agreed to a 50/50 split for school hols but refused to agree with shared residence and told the Cafcass officer this would affects childs stability.
Anyhow, hearing was adjourned for a First Hearing Dispute Resolution Appointment (FHDRA) and we were both asked to serve a concise statement to each other, teh judge and Cafcass which sets out issues as we see them and a proposed solution.
I was wandering whether anyone knew what should I expect to happen in the next hearing and what I should be including in this statement and how I should set this out? For example, as well as raising all my concerns about the mother should I be highlighting how a shared residence will hopefuly difuse many of the issues like brecahes and use case law to present an argument for shared residence?
Any help would be really appreciated, as I have only a few days left to prepare this statemnt.
Hi Iron Man
With you needing urgent advice, I'd give the CCLC a quick phone call - a link to their site is on the top of the website, and they can hopefully give you immediate guidance.
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
