Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: We are not open to new posts at this time
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hi Everyone,
I'm new to this so bear with me.......
My son has found out within the past month that he is dad to a beautiful little girl. mam is not quite so wonderful...He's so distraught I'm his Mam and need some help from people who have some idea about how the legal system works. He has tried and succeeded to have contact with his daughter, they have agreed days and he has stuck with these(baby was conceived and relationship had broken down) My son is now in a relationship of trust and equality with a wonderful lady who is very supportive. Ex is using our granddaughter as a pawn and if my son does not agree with everything she says she stops contact and txts him to verbally abuse him and his girlfriend. We have asked her to go to mediation and she tells him "No way, take me to court but you won't win" He says he cant carry on this way, seeing baby and then being refused. He is providing for the baby financially whatever happens. Has anyone faced similar hostility from an ex? any advice greatly appreciated. 🙁 Helpless grandmother
Hi there,
We have a growing number of mums/grandmothers here and all are welcome...I should know I'm one!
I sure you've had a good look round the site, there's lots of really helpful information to help you understand your sons rights and lots of members that have been through the same kind of thing. I came here in a quest to help my son too, he now has full custody of my grandson and in the process I have learnt so much that I now help others where I can.
The good news is that you need to take what the mother says with a pinch of salt! Even though he may not be on the birth certificate this can be remedied. He does have rights and if he applies to the court he will be recognised...it's not about winning, and the mother saying that speaks volumes.
Legal aid is no longer available for family cases although it is still in place for mediation. I would advise your son to find a mediation service in your area (or if the mother lives any distance away, near to where she lives) and make an appointment. Once he explains the issues the mediator will then write to the mother and ask her to attend. If she refuses or attends but no agreement can be reached the next step is to apply to the court. The mediator will issue your son with a form FM1 that shows he has attempted mediation, this form is then submitted along with form C100 to apply for contact. If your son is not on the birth certificate he will also need to submit form C1 to apply for Parental Responsibility.
Under certain circumstances an exemption from the court fees can be claimed, to do this you would need form EX160a. The charge for applying for contact and PR is usually £200 so even if your son is not eligible for the exemption it's still affordable. Solicitors can be prohibitively expensive, many of our members have chosen to self represent and have had some good results!
It's important that your son does not rise to her abuse, it would also be useful for him to keep a record of all contact and also to keep any emails/texts she sends.
More than likely she will stop contact once she receives the letter from the mediator, this is common, but it will make her realise that your son is serious about being in his daughters life and is no longer prepared to be controlled by her.
Here's a link to the legal aid calculator to check if your son is eligible for financial assistance with mediation costs.
www.gov.uk/check-legal-aid
Here's a link to the mediation service where you can find a service in your area.
www.nfm.org.uk
Good luck
Hi There,
Firstly, welcome to the forum. As Nannyjane has undoubtedly shown, this forum is a wealth of information and support. Not only for fathers but for any member of an effected family. So, a warm welcome to the forum.
With reference to your issue,
I can fully understand how you feel, I an in the exact same position as your son. My mum too is close to breaking point.
I've had to struggle to get on birth certificate, gain access and even doing anything where my cild was concerned.
My short term advice is to simply get your son to initiate mediation regardless of his ex's thoughts. This will show that he is doing his upmost. As Nannyjane said, he will get issues an FM1 to take to court.
I would also advise keeping ALL texts, emails and other form of communication from his ex.
If you need any further advice or simply need to scream, we are all here for you.
John
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
