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Sorry, I'll amend my comment as greengage is correct - I meant is there any way you can contact him that doesn't break an order, or get a message to him indirectly?
its tough. even if you email him or something, sooner or later the ex will find out and start WW3
A child arrangements order which only says where a child should live and when will continue until a child is 18 unless the order says something different or the court decides to end it.
Strictly speaking yes, but over age 16, the courts are unlikely to intervene, so if your son decided to come and live with you of his own choosing, as long as the police and courts are happy he's safe, it would be unlikely to enforce an order that says he lives with his mother, and I would hazard a guess they would either amend or cancel the existing order.
This might help https://childlawadvice.org.uk/information-pages/residence
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