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HI there, i've just found this forum and it seems really good with plenty of decent advice - however i was wondering if anyone has any advice re travel.
I split up with my ex 2 years ago and she moved back to near her parents some 200miles away, without thinking about the concequences down the line i agreed for them to go (not that i could have stopped her anyway) as my daughter was starting school i thought it would be best to join at year one not at a later date when her mother decided to move there anyway.
I see my daughter for weekends every 3 weeknds and all of school holiday so access isn't really a problem. I also pay maintance(private agreement) of £100 more than i should do, having worked it out recently on CSA.
My ex, who is now pregnant and getting married to someone new this year - has suddenly changed and is no longer willing to meet me on route to make the journey easier for me to see my daughter . She claims that it's my responsibility to collect her and that she is no longer willing to make my life easier. She also no longer is willing to pack a case for her and said i need to buy a set of clothes for my daughter - surely my payments are to take into account her buying clothes??
Anyway - my question is can travel costs be taken into consideration as i don't think it's fair that i'm expected to pay solely to visit my daughter and she wont help in any way to meet me half way on the journey. Every now and then she threatens to get a solicitor involved, should i call her bluff
Hi there and welcome 🙂
Put simply you are entitled to a reduction of maintenance for travel expenses. If you go to the top of the Child Maintenance section you will find a sticky called "How does the CSA calculate payments" this links to a CSA leaflet which you will find helpful.
Its amazing how often the mother clamps down when there is a new man on the scene! Your payments do cover things like clothes but this is a common ploy and more to do with control in my opinion.
You can start to pay maintenance through the CSA, as you say you are paying too much...perhaps this is your bargaining tool. You could make her aware that you will take this course of action if she doesnt go back to the previous arrangements.
She may be threatening you with solicitors but the Legal Aid situation has changed since April and financial assistance is no longer available for Family Law cases...she would have to pay huge sums to go down the court route. She can however stop contact on a whim and you would then have to go for the Mediation/Court options.
Best of luck 🙂
As NJ says, the fact that you are paying over the odds is something you don't have to do, so you could reduce this to the CSA level if you wanted. With respect to travel costs, the CSA expect you to pay the first 15 per week of travel costs, and anything over that can then be offset against your income for the calculation - it's not a massive saving, basically, if you were paying, for example, 60 per week travel costs, then you could offset 45 per week against your takehome pay, which you then pay 15% (the rate for one child) of, so 6.75 per week reduction - it's not a great help really, but it's better than nothing.
As for the clothes, you are correct that maintenance should cover it all, but there's not a massive amount you can do if she refuses - you'll just have to have a set of clothes with you and send her back in the clothes she came in.
It may be better to see if there can be a mediated route first before you start anything else, and as NJ says, you have that 100 per month to bargain with.
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