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Hi, my 14yr old has just told me my ex is paying him £15 a night in the summer holidays (and probably lots of other times too) to care for our 10yr old whilst she is at work (I believe this will be all day every week day).
We have had a very bitter split and my ex refuses all communication other than to text me that the boys are not coming in my court ordered time!
She has her retired parents and sister who works term time only living a few streets away plus her husband so my son being used is not the only option to her, and has not told me that this new "care" arrangement is in place.
My 14yr old is sensible however all day, day after day I feel is too much and what happens if something goes wrong and his mum is a 30min drive away?!
On the one hand my son has told me this and is happy and excited to do it and I do not want him to stop talking to me which is bound to happen should I take action, however I would never forgive myself if something happens and I knew and did nothing.
Who can I inform in a confidential manner and would anything happen? I know there is no legal age when a child is old enough to care for siblings but also I have read of the mum who got a police caution in February for leaving her 14yr old in the care of siblings for 30minutes.
Help?
Hi and welcome
You basically have two choices - to either leave things as they are, or to try to stop it. If you are happy(ish) to leave it as it is, then you could speak to your son about what he could do in emergencies, who can he call, when he might need to call 999, and when to call you.
If you want to try to prevent, it, then I would have a word with social services - I'm not sure whether they can speak off the record, but it might be worth a shot.
I'll also ask our experts at Family RIghts Group to see if they have any suggestions, so keep checking back.
Dear Anon,
I can see that you are in a tricky situation. On the one hand you do not want your son (or his sibling) to be put at any risk of suffering harm-such as of emotional abuse-the anxiety of something going wrong while he is caring for his sibling-or neglect-what about his emotional needs?-is he old enough to meet all his siblings needs while he is caring for him/her? But on the other hand, your son is keen to earn some pocket money and likes to have the responsibilty of caring for his sibling.
To seek more advice about this-which you can do anonymously-I suggest you phone the NSPPC helpline on 0808 800 5000. They also produce a booklet about leaving children home alone
home alone
If you have any further questions, please do not hesitate to post back.
Best Wishes,
Family Rights Group
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