[Solved] Ex trying to manipulate Court order.
Just a bit of advice please.
I have a court order for child arrangements, which are had to apply for because my ex would keep moving the goal posts to suit herself.
Now the court order specifies handover location and time. I agreed to public handover location as my solicitor advised this would protect me from further false allegations, but I don't think a supermarket car park is a suitable place.
There is a clause in the order that says these arrangements can be altered by agreement between us both, which is fine. However my ex seems to think that she can make alternative arrangements that men she will not be able to collect the kids at the time in the court order and just tell me that's what's happening, bit checking with me first if I am agreeable to this.
Here latest thing is that she will send somebody else to collect the kids at the time stated in the order if it's not agreeable to me to alter the time.
So even though the order does not say anything about third parties dropping off or collecting the kids, u believe the order names us both as the parents and therefore the handover responsibilities are ours.
I guess you can argue the order doesn't say you can't send a third party in your place, but then it could be argued the other way too that is doesn't say you can.
So where do I stand with this, anybody got and ideas or experience.
even though i dont like going to ex family address for pick ups and drops, its the most convenient. i havent had trouble there. if i got someone else to drop kids off without prior agreement, for sure the ex would report me to social services and say i cant see kids lol. all i can suggest is do not go back to court over this and go through more hassle. let her get someone else to bring kids. if any harm/risk comes to kids, then you can report to social services.
Sorry to say but have to agree with Bill337 on this one.
Try as best you can to focus on the fact that contact is happening and just be cordial with whoever performs handover duties.
To be honest it'll probably annoy your ex more that she isn't getting a rise out of you.
I found it better once the courts ordered the ex not to be present at handovers because she was the problem imparting her anxiety on to our child.....any chance that she was not at handovers meant less for me and for my child.
As long as it's someone trustworthy - a close friend or family member - then i'd be happy with that. or for the extra time with the kids!
All valid points guys thank you, I was just interested to see what the legal standing is I know the order doesn't name is as the parties that do the handover, should be obvious that it means handovers are between both parents, well to me anyway.
She claims that all she needs to do it tell me who will be collecting them at the handover point.
Well what if I don't know this person, would I not be failing my kids by handing them over to someone who is a strange to me.
I wouldn't even introduce them to someone sane was seeing till at least 6-9 months of seeing them, but the ex doesn't have the same morals, 2 new men introduced to the children within 9 months.
I had to take the court order because I knew she wouldn't stick to an arrangement made between us, I needed the court order so that it would be enforceable, and I have no issue in dragging her back to court if needed
As long as the kids know them unfortunately you can't complain about who she sends.
This means you are well within your rights to ask the kids if they know the name on the email using leading questions. . If they say they don't know them, immediately email your ex and request she sends someone else as the kids don't know that person.
My ex tried that when I said I would send a friend to do my kids handover. She was insisting we meet even though she has spent over a year claiming I was harassing her to the extent of getting the police involved. It seems her solicitor must have given the same advice as mine, so after she sent an email saying she didn't know them an hour later she sent another saying X and Y don't know then.
A mate of mine and his new partner was forced to met the ex and her new partner, as the parents were doing that [censored] between the two of them.
Jumping on this topic, court order states summer 2 weeks with one parent, 2 weeks with other, then 1 week each parent to make up the 6 weeks summer. But partner does 2 weeks for me beginning of summer, them 3 weeks, then me last week. Because my weeks start in July then end creapimg into September it means I lose the other court order requirement of 1 weekend per month at least if no holiday. I feel the court order meant whoever had the first 2 weeks would have the first 1 week and vice versa. Now they get the middle 2 and 1 to make 3? Therefore hindering an extra visit either in July or September depending who has the first 2 weeks. Does that make sense to anyone?
It must be very frustrating. If you feel as though your ex is "in breach" of the order, you should write to the court to explain what you believe the breach to be.
@ollieo ok. so you each have 3 weeks of summer holidays, and it leaves both of you to decide which dates and weeks to take. unfortunately courts can not decide everything for parents, and they expect them to be flexible and reasonable. I suggest if your not being allowed to take 3 weeks of summer holidays, then can consider applying to court with an enforcement application, as it would be a breach of order if your not allowed the 3 weeks, regardless of what order they happen in.