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Hi
I'm new to this but I feel like I'm banging my head against a wall! Where do I start!!!!!!!!!!!! I split from my wife a few years ago and access to my children were fine, I met someone else I told her i did not want more children but anyway she got pregnant (she told me she was on the pill!) I split with her when the baby wa a few months old and she has made my life [censored] ever since!!! I am now back with my wife (long story!) but wew are getting on better than ever she even was ok with me to have the little one but the mother was very unreasonable but i did what she said so i could keep on seeing her but she would change her mind at the last minute, nearly four monthe went past and i hadnt seen her over the months i made the hardest decsion ever and that was to let go i didnt think it was fair for that little girl to be used as an emotional weapon anymore. Since this my sister and my mum have not supported me and my sister has even gone a s far to get in contact with the mother and now sees her every other week i feel like i have been stabbed in the back by my own family i feel like this little girl is going to have even more confusion in her life. The funny thing is when i did have irregular acces not once did my sister come and see her so she hasnt see her for a year and she is only 17mths!!!!
Sorry to waffle on but had to let it off my chest!
The question you need to ask is whether YOU want access to your daughter. If you do, then you need to sort out an access arrangement. Normally, the first step, if there is a problem, is to go to mediation, but you are in a position where your sister might be able to act as an intermediary - I'd certainly consider this first.
As for your feelings for your sister and mother, don't forget that your daughter is still part of their family, and they may simply feel that you shouldn't have given up on her.
Twin03 - firstly welcome to dadtalk. Thanks for sharing and we're happy to 'listen' to any dad wanting to get it off their chest. I guess like actd my question is what do you want? Â And yet I wonder if the very fact u've come to dadtalk and posted means u already know that you want to see ur daughter and be involved in her life? Â If so then go for it. As u've described adult relationships can get really messy, but id encourage u to work out and focus on what is important.. And u're daughter is exactly that! Â Â
On ur mum and sister I'd also agree with actd in that they also have relationship with her and hence perhaps explaining why are expressing their opinions so forcefully! Â
I'd encourage u to swallow ur pride and get involved with ur daughter... Â I don't think you''ll regret it in the longer term...
What do you think?
Buzz
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