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i am currently going through what was meant to be a amimicable divorce but is not so now. i have 6 wonderfull children 2 from my first marriage and 4 from my second they age from 14 - 2 with the last 4 being 8,6,3,2 with my current wife.
the bomb shell was droped in october last year and i have tried every thing to put things right there were no third party invold my wife told me that she just did not love me any more and wanted to be on her own. she then got friendly with a old friend who is a single mother and met this guy who she said saw her as her not a mother of four. i began to have my doubts and confronted her on this she lied and lied but eventualy admitted it .
she is adermant that this is what she wants but is yet to do anything about it i have filed for divorce but she will not sign the papers, she drafted an agreement that was fair but now has changed her mind and will not sign that either. i have agreed with most of her request so far but you can only do so much. she has now changed her tact in so much she is try to get me to react to her so that she has an ascuse to get me out of the house. its game after game. she now wants the house, the kids and maintenance as for my needs well that's not her problem
so the question i put to you all is
how do you keep calm positive and at the same time make sure you do not get turned over
Hi thelb,
Welcome to the forum mate. Sounds like you are going through a tough time at the moment.
Sounds like you really don't know where you stand at the moment, does your partner still want to separate and doesn't want to sign the papers or does she not want to separate ?
You guys really need to get this sorted out - if not for yourselves then for the kids.
This is one of the toughest things to go through, with both of you trying to leave the relationship without getting "turned over" - The thing to remember is the less amicable the split, the greater thye chance that the kids end up caught up in the middle.
It might be an idea to consider mediation as an option. If so, you can get advice about this and how it works through National Family Mediation and their number is 01392 271610.
Gooner
i was contacted by a mediation service by request of my wife to which i went and had a chat i then agreed to a meeting only for her to decide that she did not want to go???
my solicitor has asked and arranged a meeting with her solicitor to find out what she wants this was last tuesday 16th March and today i asked my solicitor if he had heard anything his reply was no he had not ?? so what the [censored] is she doing?? other than being a pain in my [censored]
does she or does she not want this ?? if i ask her she is adermant she does but her actions say otherwise.
on top of this i hear comments from her friends saying silly things like "well it will be worth it in the end" what the [censored] do they know seeing as the person giving this advice is a) not married b) has no children and c) 32 and still living at home.
I'm sorry to hear about this situation. All this chopping and changing isn't doing anyone any good. It does sound as if your wife is quite confused about what she wants and I do wonder if, a few months on from her original bombshell, if divorce is really what she wants.
It's interesting that she said the guy she got involved with saw her for herself and not as a mum of four kids and it can sometimes feel as if being a mother is all consuming and feel as if they lose their identity as a person in their own right.
She may be feeling trapped but I wonder if splitting up is what she really wants.
I don't know how you still feel about your wife but I wonder if she would agree to counselling if you feel the marriage could be saved? I realise you can't drag someone there against their will but if you could sit her down and tell her how you feel she may listen to you and may agree to come to counselling. If she won't, you can go alone.
I hope this helps.
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