[Solved] Hello!

Hi Gaz,

Welcome to the site. What a terrible position to be in.

I would urge you not to suspend contact with your daughter though, she needs her dad. I guess things must be bad for you to have considered this action. Tell us some more about why you are considering this action ?

Gooner

I agree with Gooner 100% - can you imagine the effect that stopping contact will have on your daughter - she is bound to think that you have abandoned her, and that she has done something wrong, and your ex will take the opportunity to reinforce this.

Can you give us more details of what has gone on?

I agree - your ex will use this against you at every opportunity. I know it may be tough but try to maintain some contact.

Go for neutral places if only for short periods so that she grows up knowing that her dad love her and not "abandoned" like she will otherwise be told.

Good luck

Thanks for the welcome and sorry its taken a while to reply..

I completely see where you are all coming from in terms of not letting my little girl think i have abandoned her... but there is no nutral ground I can meet her, there is no place I can talk to her without her mothers influence being present..

My ex wife moved her 250 mile away a few years back so distance alone has meant I only see her once a month.. I could write pages and pages about what has been said and done but ultimately I cant stand to see my daughter sooo messed up by the constant emotional abuse by her mother and that is only happening because I am in her life. I cant see my new partner so messed up and stressed by the threats/abuse/constant nagging of the ex and having to support me emotionally....

I have two choices - I keep every ounce of evidence I have to show my daughter when she is older that I tried my hardest to see her, that I provided for her, that I was interested in her education/health etc... and hope she will want to see me..or I risk never seeing her again. Believe me - and it breaks my heart to say it - but if it means she wont suffer at the hands of her mother anymore then I will risk not seeing her again.. I truly hope that doesnt happen.
I know my ex wife and I know that with me out of the picture that although she may well slag me off to my daughter - she cannot use either of us as tools to play each other of against the other..my daughter has the prospect of a better future with me out of the picture for now.

I can also guarantee that if I keep up contact with my daughter (and through no fault of her) my ex wife will continue to make things so difficult - that I will ultimately lose my new family too... how can I subject another person to the [censored] my ex has made my life for the last 7 years??

I have fought hard for a long time, the system doesnt support me.... It makes more sense to do what I have done. It has been the hardest thing I have ever had to do.

Hi Gaz

Such a shame but I do understand your reasons - hopefully you will be able to make the right decision not only for your daughter but also for you.
It may be worth putting your thoughts down in a letter and you could send it to your wife or to your daughter explaining why. You may want to give it some time.
Let us know what you do

SM

Hi Gaz

I still don't think you are making the right decision, I can understand about the problems with your current family, but you still have to consider your daughter. I don't agree that your daughter won't suffer because you're not there - if anything it will be worse because your ex will have total control with no checks by you - even if it's just once a month. I seriously urge you to reconsider what you are planning to do.