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Hi anyone
Just joined so here's a quick hello.
I've plenty of problems and questions and I'm hoping you wise fathers can help me out with a few.
I usually just sit and stew them over but I think it might be best to air them. (a problem shared etc.)
Anyway my name's Phil and I'll be on here now and again.
Bye for now 🙂
Hi Philbo and welcome
Airing a problem is always much better - you'll get a lot of advice and opinions on here to help you sort out your thoughts.
Hi Phil,
Welcom to the site, I used to stew things over too, it doesn't help, so share and we will try and help.
Darren
Hi there and welcome to the site
Not sure I would consider myself as "wise" but always keen to try to help!
...and I definately wouldnt describe myself as a Dad! 😆 ....but I'm always happy to share my experiences and give support. Welcome Phil!
Hi Phil,
Welcome to the forum. Why not start off by telling us a little about yourself ? I take it you're a dad? How many children do you have, how old ?
Speak soon
Gooner
Hi and thanks for all the replies
My name's Phil and have three children to a previous marriage (all grown up) and then surprise, surprise along came another to a woman I'd only known for 3 months.
I was 45 at the time and it came as a bit of a shock.
We tried for 5 years to make a go of it some good time but a lot of bickering.
In the end we both decided enough was enough and I got my own place not far away.
We still see each other but can't be in each others company for too long before the bickering starts again.
My ex partner already had 2 boys of her own whom I still have a good relationship with.
My worry is my ex can be very fiery (even without me there) and it scares the children.
This happened again the other night and prompted a phone call from her eldest boy (13). saying he 'didn't feel safe'.
I know this will happen again as none of them are saints.
I really don't know how to handle the situation and everything I say has to be so guarded in case she flies off again.
I'm afraid that she'll make it awkward to see the kids.
Any advice would be most appreciated
Thanks
Phil
...Thats so sad that the children dont feel safe and you dont feel you can talk to her about it. There is family mediation, you would be able to talk through the issues and maybe she might see that you are serious about helping to find a solution. It might help her see the impact her temper is having on her children. Try to come across as a concerned friend who only wants to help, maybe offer to have the kids more to give her a break...if she sees it as concern for her rather than a critism of her mothering skills she might be more open to change.
At least you arn't far away and you can keep a finger on the pulse as it were, and step in if necassary. Does she have any family close by....parents or a sibling that you could talk to about it...or even a close friend.
Hopefully you can sort it out without the need for court or Social Services involvement...Good luck Phil.
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