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Hello,
I am 27 and I have 2 Children one lives with my ex wife and her new husband and I only have slight contact with him as we split before his was born and he has always know her partner to be his 'dad' but he knows who I am etc. I also have a younger child with my ex girlfriend who I have been around since birth. Unfortunately we split 1 yr ago as she found a new man and moved away with him. I have recently been through a legal battle to get arranged visits which thankfully all went my way and I was given arrangemnts of me having him over weekends at mine one weekend a fortnight.
The reason I have come to this site is I want to be a better dad, I was suffering with depression and anxiety after the split and have only just got back to 100% I am seeking work now so I can do stuff with my son and get him things he needs to develop etc.
The problem I have though is through the last 3 months of legal stuff I have not seen him, and I am very worried about next weekend which will be our first one together for a long while. I have talked to him on the phone etc, and he seems happy. I just hope he will be happy when he gets here and that he has not lost his coonnection with me. He is only 3 and I love him alot. I just find it hard though because the man my partner left me for is very wealthy and has a good job, and he seems to be one of those 'buy the love' people. Many times I get downhearted when my ex phones and says 'oh look out our new full size trampoline' 'oh look at our led TV' 'oh look at the clothes your sons wearing better than the Tesco and Primark stuff you get us' I do understand its not about money but it does make me feel so low that someone else provides so weel for him and I do not 🙁
Anyway sorry to bore you lols, I hope tho that I can find some people on here that can give me some advice, and iI will try wherever I can to give some back.
I am just glad I found your site
Thanks
Hey mate hope your doing well.
Im very sorry to hear about your situation, im sure with the issue concerning your son that even tho you may not be able to buy all the things he may want the one thing you can count on tho is that you wont need to buy his love, you share a bond that no amount of money can ever buy!
On the issue of seeing him next weekend, you need to relax and make it fun for both of you, if your on edge and nervous im sure it will be passed onto him, just enjoy it and have as much fun as possible, try and make up for the lost time! lots of cuddles and kisses!! 🙂
Hope this has helped in some kind of way!!
All the best and just keep your chin up!!
Rhys Joseph
Hi KhristianR,
welcome to the site mate. I can understand your fears but believe it or not what you son needs from you is your time, not expensive presents and toys.
When you said
He is only 3 and I love him alot.
show him this every time you are with him and that's all he needs to know. My daughter is now 14 but her fondest memories from childhood are things she did with us (her parents) not things we bought her. You have already succeeded with the hard part by getting access for you child to his dad - the rest is easy. Just make sure he knows he is the most important person in your life, have fun together and as Rhys said enjoy it (they grow up sooo quickly)
Check out the article on child development and play for 18 months to 3 years - its a great article and may give you some ideas. Why not also check out the video, articles and news items in the toolbox section Games for Dads and Kids. Let us know how it goes - I'm really looking forward to your posts.
Gooner
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