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Hi my name is Keith i am 49 in May have been with my current partner 9 years in March she has two children from her previous marriage who both live with us her son who is 15 and was diagnosed with Aspergers 2 years ago and can be real nightmare at times and daughter who 13 with the hormones and angst kicking in then we have our 4 year old daughter who has the toddler tantrums. And to say life is not good at the moment is a gross understatement.
All i ever wanted was a blonde blue eyed little girl and that's exactly what i got However it didn't happen until i was 44 and i have found it really hard to adjust don't get me wrong i love her to bits. But it has all gone totally not how I expected it to be.
She was a complete surprise my partner didn't know until she was 6 months gone so we only had a short time to get used to the idea and to buy everything as the other two were so much older.
Now my other half has gone really against me she is not what I would call a natural mother she sees kids as a chore and kinda makes me feel guilty for saddling her with another one for 18 years just as she thought she was nearing the end or thats how it feels to me anyhow and she is almost making me resent my gorgeous daughter for wrecking our relationship which up to her being born withstood pretty much anything including removal guys ripping us off and loosing £40,000 our business stock they left in Scotland.
She says I may as well not be here she has felt like a single mother for 4 years and i do nothing for Katherine and i am lazy and do nothing But I do plenty as and when i can the problem is I run our online mail order plant business from home and I think she thinks if i am at home I should be with Katherine more and I do spend as much time with her as I can But the business takes a lot of running to I have tried more lately But to be honest my partner wouldn't even notice if i did she is that blinkered at the moment and everything is my fault I do try and strike a balance I am not one who works all the time despite what she thinks/says. It doesn't help that her two are totally bone idol and won't lift a finger to help at all unless you pay them that is. and they make 90% of the mess she has to clear up cos I ain't clearing up after them.
Hi well you have your hands full thats for sure. step parenting is not easy, Ive been there and gone through a few very difficult teenage years.
Being a parent when you are a bit older isnt easy, done that one too.
It does get better in time. You and your partner need to be working from the same page, it might help if you go to relate and talk through your issues with a third party. The kids need guide lines and boundaries or they will just play you up againts each other. You both need to see it from each others point of view and stop fighting againts each other and work together and listen to each other and the kids. Do you go out as a family, as a couple. Is your Daughter going to School soon ?
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