[Solved] Hello Dads! New here and looking for help

Hi,

Just to reassure you that being diagnosed with depression doen't mean she isn't going to be able to cope with the baby when it's born. Do you think her depression is as a result of you both seperating? However, if your concerns go beyond the area she's chosen to live & her health it may be a good idea to keep a written record of things that happen or are said, in case you find yourself in a situation where you decide that the child is at risk & you seek custody. These records will help you evidence things if you end up going to court to seek custody. Are you just thinking about custody at the moment or are wanting to persue it now?

Thx for the reply,

I am worried about the baby. Her doctor told her that she is causing danger to the baby now.

I have backed away and leave her to find the rest and support she needs with her family.

I never wanted to be a "single" dad. I grew up without my father and so has she...it is my worst nightmare to be a part time dad.

I am missing out on the pregnancy and the things that making a parent so special.

Her situation isn't good as the demographic in her area (where he mum lives) is very bad.

Her financial situation will perhibit her from being able to give the child the best start in life.

I don't want to the child to miss out on either parent. I want the ensure the baby will have everything it needs to have a "normal" upbrining.

I want the kid to grow up with me as I have the financial resource and a stable home life.

Speaking to people that are currently fighting for custody it seems near impossible to get the support from the courts.

Any ideas?

I'll ask our legal experts if they can help.

I would say that if her GP thinks there is any danger to the baby, then he would be obliged to contact social services or similar, so if that's the case, she will have someone independant keeping an eye on her through the pregnancy and beyond.

Unfortunately, you have no rights at all whilst she is pregnant as far as I'm aware, and if she choses to register the birth without naming you on the birth certificate, then you won't have parental responsibility and you'll have to apply to the courts to get that. As far as contact would be concerned, you would not be able to have your child for lengthy periods initially as a baby is naturally dependant on their mother when very young.

All this comes down to the best way forward being to try and talk to your ex during the pregnancy, to reassure that you'd like to be involved and that you'd like to help - if you can get her co-operation, it is going to be so much easier for you in the long run.

Dear HPG0815

As the child is not born you do not have any rights at present. Therefore, at present you are not entitled to attend scans or hospital appointments unless you are given permission to do so. If you do have concerns regarding the mother we would advise contacting Social Services.

Once the baby is born, it is important to konw whether you are put on the child’s birth certificate or not as this will set out whether you will have Parental Responsibility. Please note that if is is agreed that you are to be placed on the birth certificate you will either have to attend the registration or complete a Statutory Declaration form.

If you are placed on the birth certificate, you will have Parental Responsibility.

If you are not placed on the birth certificate, you will have the following options to obtain Parental Responsibility:

• Marrying the mother;
• Having your name registered or re-registered on the birth certificate after the 1st December 2003
• Obtaining a Parental Responsibility agreement with the mother;
• Obtaining a Parental Responsibility Order from the court;
• Obtaining a Residence Order from the court

In terms of residenceonce the child is born, the first stage that we would advise to take would be to contact National Family Mediation on 0300 4000 636. Mediation is used to try and resolve any issues that parties have amicably without resorting to the Court process. Anything that is agreed in mediation is not legally binding.

If mediation does not work, the final stage would be applying to the Courts for a Residence Order. A Residence Order is a legally binding document. A Judge would hear all the evidence put before them by you and your partner and make an Order that is in the child’s best welfare. Once the Order is made it must be stuck too and any breach can be brought back to Court and the Order can be enforced.

If you do not have parental responsibility, you could attempt to negotiate with the mother in mediation regarding this and try and negotiate agreeing a parental responsibility agreement form. This would give you Parental Responsibility.

To apply for a Residence Order you would need to complete a C100 form which can be obtained from www.justice.gov.uk or from your local Family Proceedings Court. There is a fee of £200 for this application. However, if you are eligible for legal aid there is a fee remission form entitled EX160A. Once you complete the forms you then need to lodge them at your Local Family Proceedings Court and then the Courts will write to you with a hearing date.

If you do decide to go down the Court Order route we would strongly recommend that you look at the Welfare Checklist which is listed below. This is a checklist which the Judge will have to take into consideration when deciding to make an Order:

The Welfare Checklist - section 1 Children Act 1989
a) The ascertainable wishes and feelings of the child concerned (considered in light of his age and understanding);
b) His physical, emotional and / or educational needs;
c) The likely effect on him of any change in his circumstances;
d) His age, [censored], background and any characteristics of his, which the court considers relevant;
e) Any harm which he has suffered or is at risk of suffering;
f) How capable each of his parents and any other person in relation to whom the court considers the question to be relevant, is of meeting his needs;
g) The range of powers available to the court under the Children Act 1989 in the proceedings in question

If you would like any further assistance on this matter or to discuss your case in further detail please do not hesitate to contact us further on our webchat facility which can be found at www.childrenslegalcentre.com and is open from 9am to 6pm Monday to Friday.

Yours sincerely

CORAM CHILDREN’S LEGAL CENTRE