[Solved] Hello there

Hi Kristian welcome to the forum.

What's up why so stressed ?

Gooner

Realationship is going wrong. I feel trapped and have no one to talk to. I am being harassed by her 5 year old and it is all my fault. Our daughter is no longer breast feeding, I think she is upset about this. Well this is also my fault.
We hadn't known each other very long and she became pregnant. I did not want to have it as I was convinced it would all go wrong. I listened to her and a year or so later her I am and I ain't even got a crystal ball!
She has two children by a man who left her BOTH times she fell pregnant. I REALLY like her and her boys. I want this to work but it is getting unhealthy for me. I feel ike I shouldn't be here. I feel here parents and children have more say over my daughter than I have.
I may be going on like a mad man but I have been through this or similar before so know how it goes.

I would suggest that you and your partner go and talk to Relate - you obviously still have feeling, and if the relationship can be saved, it's best for everyone, including you.

I would just add that if your partner won't go to Relate with you, you can go by yourself to talk it all through.

Hope you manage to work things out, even if it's just for the sake of the kids to start with. Got to be worth a try.

Good luck.

Welcome Kristian,

Come and air your woes any time, at some point I expect most of us have been through a similar experience, no-one is here to judge.

How old is your daughter? I'm guessing pretty young as you say she has stopped breastfeeding, the first year or so can be a very hard time with a new baby and can cause a great strain in any relationship.

I will offer my own general advice as an outsider.

1. talk to eachother, when the kids are in bed - asleep, just talking through how you feel with eachother can have such a positive effect, both of you are adjusting to having a little one, agree before the talk to hear the other one out and not judge, you may be surprised what you learn from eachother, for example your partner may just want you to change a nappy now and then, but because you dont everything else is exagerated and the knock on effect continues because her back is already up (not saying you dont change nappies, just an example of how something seemingly trivial can have a knock on effect to everything else), also your partner may not be aware that you feel like everyone else has more say over your daughter than you do - tell her calmly, it may just be that because her and everyone else have had babies or used to babies being around they automatically take over without realising because you have no previous experience

2. is your daughter sleeping through the night? if both of you are up every night at all hours and having continued broken sleep this will put a huge strain on everything else, even the simplest things become such a chore and arguments from nothing will occur, there is a reason sleep deprevation is/was a form of torture - it can ruin you, depending on your daughters age it may be time to teach her to sleep, possibly look into the controlled crying technique, some people disagree with it but i can tell you it was the best thing I ever did when our son was about 9 months old (it has to be done properly - speak to your health visitor or buy a good book), after a week he slept all night with no feeds and has continued to do so without any problems at all..he is 2 next month.

3. maybe your partner is suffering post natal depression, this can easily go unnoticed for a long period of time - might be worth looking into, read up on it, talk to her and support her, maybe if she is happier everything will stop being your fault!

as mentioned relate is a valid option.

whatever you decide I wish you all the best and good luck, come and chat any time.

Regards

Danny