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Hi,
Im really stuck and do not know what to do.
I have 2 little girls whom are 9 and 8. The relationship with their mother has been a very love hate relationship, yet on and off over 11 years.
We got married in 2009 and within three months she had moved out to to be with my best friends and took my girls with her. She did let me see them. Then when he kicked her out 6 months later she pestered me. She found out that i had inherited some money from my late father. She said that she had nowhere to live. So i let her live back in my home so that my children had a home. It was only meant to be until she found somewhere.
Within a very short time she had been through my mobile and found my new girlfriends mobile number which i had kept all quiet and she started texting my new girl. My new lady didnt reply at all and kept her dignity yet my ex wife continued to pester her.
Then within a matter of a month the police arrived and i had an non molestation injunction put on me. She kicked me out of my own home. I lost all my possessions and my ex wife still kept texting my new lady.
I have now lost my home, she wont let me have contact with my children. Yet amazingly my exwife has a new man and she is 8 months pregnant. Yet the injunction was put on me 8 months ago.
She has refused mediation. She did allow contact at a contact centre for 4 months but sent my solicitor an email last friday to say that she has stopped it. This was not an email from her solictor it was an email from her personally.
What on earth can i do?? i gave her thousands of pounds to help her last year and i love my girls to pieces which she knows. I just want to see them regularly.
My new lady has stuck by me yet she is badly damaged by it all. My ex wife even managed to get hold of my ladys ex direc landline number and would text her or ring her 20 times a day. She should have gone to the police, but didnt want t because she didnt want to make a fuss or get the children hurt. Silly girl i know she should have just reported it. Numbers are all changed now.
I cannot afford court fees, im told it will be about £3000. I would represent myself but I am not good with words.
Please any advice would be gratefully recieved. I do pay csa and have done properly from the start.
Hi,
Sorry to hear you are having such a hard time! You mention your solicitor. What advice has your solicitor given you?
She has said take her to court, however my main concern is how this will effect my children short term and long term.
It sounds like you have had a tough time, and in many ways can picture what you describe, although your case seems to be much more extreme.
I am not an expert, just another dad that feels stuck between a rock and a hard place, but dont give up. If you have kept a lot of the abusive stuff and your new parner has too it should help. Certainly keep everything and write everything down.
I feel your situation is quite complex and it is hard to see it being sorted outside court if your ex is as unreasonable as she seems.
There will hopefully be some on here that can give you advice on self representation if you cannot afford soliciters.
Anyway, dont give up, there are many of us in similar positions all behind you
Thankyou so much for your reply.
I am going to ring my solicitor tomorrow and see what she says.
My ex wife has social services involved at the mo and i am waiting for their report so that will be interesting reading. They said it would take 10 days to do last monday. So fingers crossed, that if they are involved at least i know my children are safe or as safe as can be seeing as i dont know what is going on.
I just miss my girls so much. Last time at contact they told me that they are not allowed to call me daddy they have to call their mums boyfriend daddy. I just cant understand the mentatality of doing that when she knew what my daughters mean to me.
As for proof, bt deleted all the messages on my ladys answerphone....typical....so all we have is dates as to when the abuse started and when it finished. Still working with vodafone as to whether they can get a list of abuse on that phone.
She even hassled my boss and my work colleagues with text messages and facebook messages. Thats one thing i hate! facebook!! why do people like it.
Anyway thankyou again, for your reply, gratefully appreciated.
Hi
At the moment, because you have a solicitor, we can't ask CCLC to comment. At the moment, I think you are best taking advice from your solicitor as your situation is quite complex as there are property issues as well as contact. Keep us posted on how you go on.
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