[Solved] Hi...

Firstly welcome to the site and fatherhood. The first few months are always a bit full on but you guys will soon get in to your own routine and life will feel more manageable i promise!

Thanks for posting your questions.

Colic is a really pain for all involved. I really like the info that the BBC Health gives on it – here’s the LINK

As the link says Colic is common and effects 1 in 5 of babies, but is a poorly understood. The most common symptom of colic is excessive and inconsolable crying in a baby that otherwise appears to be healthy and well-fed. The symptoms usually begin within the first few weeks of life, and usually resolve by the time the baby is four months of age, and by six months at the latest.

There is currently no cure for colic, so treatment usually involves using self-care techniques, such as bathing your baby in a warm bath to help soothe them. We gave both our boys a small bath each evening before bed and to be honest never had a real problem with colic. I think the baths really helped. In the BBC article it talks about the colic dance which i hadn’t heard of before but it might be worth giving it a go. I also noticed it talks about dummy which most folk try to avoid but both our boys used them esp during sleep times without any problems. If the colic gets really bad then don’t worry about calling NHS for support. I think we had them on speed dial in the first 12months and they were always reassuring!

Totally get you on the nose out of joint feeling. To be honest the only way forward is to find things to do with H. These are some of the things I did with J and H when they were born. Took them on walks, even just round the block for 10 minutes, carried them round the house in a baby sling (very manly!! But it really helped establish a bond) bath time every night was my time, played with them for half an hour or so when i got home from work each day. My wife was great and really encouraged me getting down and being with the kids i think she appreciate esp in the first 6 month me taking the boys out and giving her a break for an hour or so.

Talk to your wife about wanting to bond more with your little H and I’m sure she will give you plenty of opportunity too.

Have you checked out the Child Development section HERE? It has some great info and some great games to play with H that help him develop.

Sound like you will be a fantastic dad to H.

Hi and congratulations

Some great advice from Harvey's Dad which I agree with, it is difficult at first as mum has to nurse baby and they are so much more dependent on them.

However there are a load of things you can do - bath baby and spend some time in evening reading to him, change nappies (you will never ever have an objection to that task!!)

You may feel that you haven't got the opportunity to bond but silly things like having baby in arm and talking to him will help bond. In a few months time he will smile at you and it will be the best feeling in the world.

My kids are 14 and 11 and i still play second fiddle in my wife's affection but I have two great boys who I get on fantastic with

Hi Mathew,
Huge congratulations on the birth of your son. I am going to offer some advice on both issues.
Infant colic, firstly continue with the advice previously given. There are many remedies available such as infacol to help, but please speak to your health visitor, GP or Pharmacist first. There are also different bottles available which are supposed to prevent colic as they are supposed to prevent babies taking in air during feeds. Have you tried sleeping baby with his head raised by placing something under the crib or moses basket or mattress (do not place a pillow under babies head) as this helps prevent possiting. Also have you spoken to the GP about reflux as this can sometimes be mistaken for colic and therefore different medication will be required.
I would be interested to know how baby is feeding, if baby is formula feeding it may be worth trying a different brand.
Bonding, I know this can be very difficult for fathers as they feel that mum is doing everything for babies, especially if breastfeeding. However there are lots of ways in which you can spend time with baby, we always encourage dads to have skin to skin with babies as it really helps to settle them, regulate heart rate & temperature especially if mum is breastfeeding. Dads settle babies well as you do not smell like breastmilk so babies feel relaxed and not pressured to feed. So if baby is fed, nappy changed but unsettled with mum then he may just want to sleep, so take him & lay him on your chest skin to skin & he should settle. Also it is really important that you ensure mum is eating, drinking well & resting so assisting with daily chores and meal times will help her to care for baby so therefore helps mum establish a routine. Another lovely way to spend quality time with baby is for you to bath baby with you as this helps baby feel safe & secure in the water (its also easier than bathing baby alone). You could also take baby for walks in the pram. Please be assured that this is a common feeling for most dads but as children get older they tend to rely on you more.
Best of luck for the future, hope this helps .
Pinkmadwife.