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Hi All,
Glad to find somewhere that may be able to offer some good help and advice.
I am recently separated in the past 5 weeks.
My wife has moved in to her mothers and I have kept the family home. We have 2 children.
I want to keep on the house and have moved all the bills etc into my name. My wife and I have agreed to do an equal share on the children, having them 4/3 days a week each on a rotation basis which is working ok at the moment.
Initially we said we would claim child benefit and tax credits etc for 1 child each although she has now changed her mind on this.
My wife earns a little less than me and is entitled to more benefits if she claims for the two children.
We have about 90,000 of equity in the house so I would need to buy her out. I am offering her £20,000 and will not touch her pension or investments which I think should equal things out.
My questions are:
1) If she is claiming for both children and we are sharing their time between us equally should she make a payment to me for some of the benefits?
2) She is insisting that I cant touch her pension etc but is also saying she may need me to give her her full £45 /45 k from the house equity which would mean I'd have to sell the house. I want to keep it because the children have their friends there and it's near their existing school - what is a fair way to settle this?
We are keeping it amicable at the moment and I am determined to keep it this way, I still love her very much and we both adore the children. Although I know each time we get to a stage where we discuss any of the above she goes very defensive and then starts to say things like she'll make me sell so she can afford a nice house etc.
It seems unfair that if she claims all the benefits etc her bring home money each month will be more than mine even though she only works part time. But I'm really not that fussed as long as I can keep the home and keep a stable home for my children.
I am very interested in hearing your views.
Thanks
Hi Welshdad,
welcome
It's great that you are able to talk about things and try and come to an agreement between you, this will save time, money and stress in the long run.
With regargds to the house and benifits, even though you will have the children for equal amout of time if your ex claims the benifits then as far as I am aware she doesn't have to give you a share, on the flip side to that though if your ex is registered as the main carer for the children then you would be liable for child maintenance, this would be at a reduced rate of 50% of what would have been expected as the children would be with you 50% of the time.
I guess the fairest way would be to have yourself registsered as the main carer for one child and your ex for the other then you would be able to claim eqaul benifits and child maintenance would be canceled out.
There is nothing stopping you having a mtual agreement though which can be what evere you make it, so you could agree that she claims for both children maybe but that you don't pay maintenance, or that you do pay at 50% what would be expected but she gives you a percentage of the benifits.
As you are being able to talk things through betwenn the 2 of you, you have a lot of scope to get things to meet what suits you both, all I would say is once you have agreed on what you will do, get it written into a binding agreement through a solicitor so neither of you are able to suddenly decide it doesn't suit any more and not continue.
I guess as above with regards to the house and pension it will be just down to what you agree, I would be careful about trying to hold out and maybe getting into battles though as it could cost you more in the long run than accepting not to take any of your ex's pension or benifits, if you can stay on good terms all round then you and your children will benifit greatly.
Good luck and keep us posted.
Darren
One thing I would add to the above, if your ex claims child benefit for both children. she will get £20.30 per week for the first child and £13.40 per week for the second, so a total of £33.70 per week. If you each claim for one child, then you would each get £20.30 - so a total of £40.60 - so an extra £6.90 per week - there's nothing to stop you from paying that extra bit to your ex. You'd need to contact HMRC to say that each of you is becoming the parent with care for one of the children just to check that it is legal, but assuming it is, that's an extra £350 per year tax free.
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