[Solved] HI - Child Moving Away

Hi there 🙂

Do you have a contact order? If not, by applying for one you can define contact and tackle it through the courts.

Have you tried talking to your ex about how you feel? If thats difficult you could always try Mediation. Heres a link ~

www.nfm.org.uk

Hi there.. you are not alone, I too am in a similar situation.. i tried in vain to stop my ex wife from moving away but there wasnt much i could do about dictating where she lived. as long as she granted me access and stuck to the child arrangements in the Consent order.

My ex wife took my 2 daughters (age 8 and 6) away and moved to Sweden about 2 years ago. Since then i have been paying full child maintenance (£500+ a month) and paying for flights and accommodation to visit them. I have also paid for my daughters to fly 4 times a year (during school holidays) to stay with me as unaccompanied minors costs me around £2500 a year in flights alone.

They then stay with me around 70 nights a year and i obviously feed them and buy them clothes etc.. and do not get a single penny from the ex to contribute to the flights costs. I got a Consent Order specifying i have access to my daughters so she cant deny me this but her attitude is that if i want to see them i have to "pay".. in more ways than one.

I am left with no money to have any kind of social life as i use all my money (after rent, bills, etc) on my daughters. Oh did i mention she also took 75% (£100k+) of the equity from the house sale.. which was pretty incredible since i had been building this up for 20 years and i only knew her for 6 years... but she took it. Left me with virtually nothing.

I asked the solicitor about this and they said as long as she allows you to see them, she cannot be forced to pay towards.. even though it was her that moved away. Women have this right it seems.

I could not afford to spend money on solicitors as i would have had no money to see my kids with. Im not sure how much longer i can continue this, but i know i will never give up on my kids.. they miss me like crazy and i love them no matter and my ex knows this and of course uses this to her advantage. Dropping them off at Heathrow airport after a week or two weeks or three weeks with me is the most painful experience. I cannot find words to describe.. but breaks me every time. Never get used to that.. of course i do not show this side to my kids. That's left for my lonely drive home.

Hope things work out better for you... i live in hope too. There is always hope.

Regards,

Steve

Hi thanks for you reply. I dont have a contact order. Have been to solicitor today who is going to send a letter to try and re-establish contact arrangements which have broken down due to my illness with cancer. im now getting stronger to resume more time with my son but i am not getting any contact from his mother at the moment due to my wages being stopped and not now being able to support financially after 7 years of providing. this will resume when i get back to work. I have been told that contact orders and courts will only be involved as a last resort but that mediation must come first before a court wilt entertain the case ?

Hi thanks for you reply. I dont have a contact order. Have been to solicitor today who is going to send a letter to try and re-establish contact arrangements which have broken down due to my illness with cancer. im now getting stronger to resume more time with my son but i am not getting any contact from his mother at the moment due to my wages being stopped and not now being able to support financially after 7 years of providing. this will resume when i get back to work. I have been told that contact orders and courts will only be involved as a last resort but that mediation must come first before a court wilt entertain the case ?

You seem to have a really difficult situation and it must be unbearable for you. Its such a mess and the poor kids are the ones who suffer..!!

....I'm sorry to hear you have been ill and I hope that you are on the road to a full recovery 🙂

Mediation is most certainly something that the courts will expect to have happened, as you say court is considered a last resort when all else has failed.

Theres nothing to stop you applying for a defined contact order without mediation, but the judge can order that mediation must be attempted, so wether you think it will work or not, its an avenue that should be explored. It might be worth you going to your local mediation service and talking to the mediator, they will then invite your ex to attend, if she refuses the mediator will supply you with a form FM1, which you submit with the C100 to prove that Mediation has failed.

Good luck 🙂

thank you for your advise...much appreciated. It looks like next stop is mediation...and then court... here is hoping !!