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Hi All
New to this forum, found it through an advert picked up at a Dad's club.
Really struggling with my wife, and how much she expects me to do and finding it hard to do more when I feel dead on my feet.
How much or little do other dads do in reality being honest?
I go to work 5 days a week and am up most of the nights our little girl wakes up, my wife tends not to wake most of the time and the really bad nights see me being the one to sit up with her all night not her mum.
Then I get moans about being tired because our girl is demanding during the day etc.
Likewise not wanting to listen, I am never very good at getting stuff out and when I have tried it comes out wrong and she comes back with equal negatives / comments about how I behave and doesn't want to listen.
Hope I can find the support network I think I have needed for the past 9 months.
Tom
Hi Tom
Welcome to the forum - hope you like it.
We have all been there and it is really tough especially as you are having to do the night shift.
For many new parents they look to try to find a support network - grand parents are great if they are nearby - do either of you have parents that could help during the day so your wife can get some rest, then perhaps she could help during the night.
Whatever you do try not to blame your wife - not every mum is the same and for some it is really difficult.
You need to discuss this with your wife and work out a rota - maybe she has a break when you get home from work - and you look after baby, and maybe do the first feed during the night or get up for the early feed.
Also isn't your baby sleeping through the night?
How old is the baby?
Please answer so we have a bit more information
If your wife is struggling in the day time, maybe she should try and look into attending a local surestart if there is one near by, or a mother baby group, she will be able to talk to other mums or dads in the same situation and find out ways of making things easier. If you have relatives or friends nearby ask them to help or even babysit one evening so you can both have a bit of a break and spend time together where you can discuss each others views away from the situation, its easy to lose track of your own lives when a child comes into it.
Being with a child all day is mentally tiring and can leave you exhausted by the end of it, and as you are working all day you would be tired too, and when you are both in that state of mind i can understand why you both feel as you do. Coming on here and sharing your thoughts and asking for help is a positive move and i hope you get what help you need.
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
