[Solved] Hi Everyone

Hi and welcome,

Tell us about your challenges!!

Darren

Seperated from partner several months ago. She was straight in with several solicitors letters saying when she would "let me" see the children. I replied to the letters myself and decided to wait for a few months and allow time for things to settle down.

Well, it saddens me to say they have not. I contacted National Family Mediation and went to a first mediation meeting with just me last week and am now waiting for them to write to her.

Thanks for reply Darren, really my "challenges" are similar to others on here. This week it is:-

That I am at the end of being able to take any more last minute cancelations. With just a text message in hastiley done text speak, which she seems to cancel without even a thought for myself and the children are trying to maintain a relationship on the bare minimum of contact time anyway. She has canceled tomorrows pick up from school, Fridays sleep over and Saturday morning/afternoon because she has time off from work. Just cancelled it. I have told her when I am off from work half term but I don't know when the children will have time with me yet and it is going to now be at least another 7 days till they will see me which is too long.

Don't worry I am not going to do anything silly, more that I feel I have done all I can in being considerate and nice as is the recomendations to do everything I can to take the moral higher ground and keep the peace with the mother. It's that I now feel because of this I am being walked all over and it is time to set the wheels in motion of mediation (as I have done) and if that does not work out then I will have to go to court as I can see if I don't do something now this is how things will be for evermore and especially my youngest will soon start to think that it's normal how things are now and only having minimum time with Daddy.

Thanks

Hi and welcome doubleloop 🙂

I am so sorry to hear that your ex is behaving in such a bad way towards you, or more importantly your children, by denying you and them contact.

You are doing the right thing by rising above it and going for mediation, and preparing yourself for the possibility of court.

As you have had a good look around you will have read about keeping records of everything, this will be helpful. Make notes of all the cancellations at short notice with dates and times. In fact everything that happens.

If she agrees to mediation, do stay civil, even if she doesnt, and concentrate on whats best for the children, which is both parents being involved in their lives.This is what the court strive for too, and she needs to realize that by withholding the children from you, yes she is hurting you, but she is also hurting the children.

Good luck with everything.

Hi doubleloop,

Welcome to the site - I'm glad that you decided to join in.

Really sorry to hear about your issues seeing your children - but as Nannyjane said mediation is the way forward.Coming to an agreement between yourselves (if possible) and working out a way together to move forward is always more successful that a court imposed order. I hope see agrees to attend.

The thing to do is be Mr Reasonable now, don't allow your emotions to get in the way of want and your kids need.

Check out these articles on the Advice and Support section on the site:

Ten golden rules to protect your child from the effects of separation

Communicating with your child's mother

Separated but Equal

Hope these are helpful.

Gooner

Hi, I just signed up too. It's good to see their is a site to help us dads. The system is till unfair for us in my mind.
Anyway, welcome aboard Sir.

HI
Dont let things get you down,all the mud will be in your direction,dont throw any back,always remember your going through this for your kids
and protect your kids from all mud slinging as much as you can,
i dont know your situation but like all the dads here you love your kids,
GOOD LOOK